mari jual ikan!

=THIS MESSAGE WAS WRITTEN ON MY NOTEPAD LAST NITE=

it's approximately 2am. i just got back from watching geisha an hour ago. i've learnt alot of things during this outing with my friends. the movie, as well as some embarrasing discoveries about myself, friends and things that are surrounding me. i must admit, i like sayuri in the movie. i love the cinematography(this is my main reason, why i live movies), i love the words that are being spoken by sayuri and the chairman. i have to admit, the book offers alot more than that. but the movie was not a disappointment at all, although some scenes created questions in my mind.

selfish.
i notice that i, sometimes, can't get over this. my parents always say that i am one, since i was small. perhaps, being the eldest, has made me wanting stuff all by myself. and being the only girl, i tend to be childish. this has reflected in my adult life. examples, of should i, or should i not be selfish;

- some friend called me on my hp while i was in the cinema. 30+ missed calls altogether and i didn't return any. few days back, i decided to turn off our friendship for a little while as he said it's like a compulsory that we'll fight everytime we talk more than say...15 mins! i want us to rest. me being selfish? no. i just wanna make his frustration towards me, lesser.

- i felt like given some sort of privilege of listening and knowing stuff about one's stories ans stuff. not quite. there are more than just me. it's just upsetting. it is stupid. if i'm that person, i would probably ask,"who are you? for you to feel that way?". owh. that's gonna be quote a slap on the face. me being selfish? maybe i'm just an attention seeker. embarrasing.

- pictures. we all know, i'm a sucker for pictures and cameras. i bought an expensive toy(to me, it is, by looking at the nett wages i'm getting every month) and shoot endlessly. i know, many have done and shot better. but my pictures, plagiarised?? can't that person actually give credits for the pictures taken or call me for permission to copy & paste the pictures in your page? no doubt, i've known you for years but that does not mean that you can take other's properties without acknowledging them. even if it's an ugly photo. i can accept, 2-3 photos but...owh dear..am i being selfish? no. i think this is my rights.

i'm just so upset. goodness. when will this end. with endless bundle of work. with a very undecided boss, who actually discuss matters with his staff but in the end, giving everything back to our shoulders.

owh my stomache's making noises. off to lunch.

wassalam.