Thursday, September 28, 2006

5th day...?Already?


wow. dah masuk 5th day of ramadhan. i've been sick. demam yang hanya panas dalam badan. tak keluar haba2 panas tuh. baru malam semalam cekya perasan! dok confuse, why am i having continuious headache. tak baik-baik. badan rasa lemah jek. seram sejuk plak tu. kalau pegang badan cekya, macam mayat hidup kot. sejukkkk je but only Allah knows how i'm handling the heat in my body. both ears dah rasa bisa, tekak perit and my nose, kalau tak kanan, kiri yang blocked. sheesh!! pening kepala...toksah cerita lah!

pening the whole day. berair-air mata menahan perit dan rasa sungguh tak comfy. dugaan la semua ni. and last nite, baru terfikir, maybe demam. so i drank alot of hot water, milo, hot tea, bagi tenaga and masa bangun sahur tadi, badan berpeluh-peluh. the heat dah slowly out of my body!!!

and alhamdulillah, hari ni cekya dah elok sikit. rasa bertenaga nak pi kerja eventhough mengantuk sikit.

anyways, i've been wanting to write about problems. on how you handle it. one of the ways, is to talk things over with your closest friend or family. and you have to admit that you have set in your mind that you want people to react in certain ways after listening to you. correct?

as for me, when i talk about my problems or issues, i expect people to listen to me. comments or ideas jatuh tempat kedua. and for the reaction, i would prefer sombre answers or suggestions. shall i say, some mature approach?

i have friends who literally shouts, pissed off that instant and say harsh words when i tell them my problems. not at me, but people or things that are causing me sadness or things like that. i do appreciate such gesture. it shows that they really care but SHOUT? adeh. maki hamun tu jangan cakap la kan.

like hellooo!!! i'm having problems here. not you. i would appreciate some calmness and maturity on how you handle my 'aduan-aduan'. geez!! talkabout being emotional!! senang cerita, baik tulis kat blog nih aje. i have my blogsahabats who talks without any sound.

please guys, a round of applause for miss comments-space & mt haloscan...!hahahah....aman sikit. except when we meet, of course. and cekmi sering menjadi mangsa pot-pet-pot-pet cekya & the rest of the gang..hehehe....

berbalik pada kengkawan yang suka mengamuk, how would you prefer your friends/families to react to you lepas luahkan masalah or issues pertaining to your goodself?

and would you pick who you would express yourself to, referring to the way you react? me, i actually pick to whom shall i speak to. and my blogsahabats, mostly are on top of my list. they just know how and when to advise.

how about you?

p/s : selamat berbuka puasa untuk hari ini. ;)


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

major pain!


alhamdulillah, kita semua dah start puasa. cekya ok. masuk belum kantoi tapi kepala cekya sakit macam nak pecah 2-3 hari nih. and as at now. masih lagi sakit, hanya Allah yang tahu cemana peritnya...adui la....

cakap pasal sakit, zuhri's admitted to selangor medical center. small surgery. hari ni dah ok kot but still kat ward. sesiapa nak gi tengok pakcik tu, he's in room 431. ;)

above are some pics taken during the weekend.
aduh mata cekya kabur. mengantuk. kepala sakit. tekak perit. apsal nih?

nak restlah. till later guys...selamat berbuka!

p/s : pictures are smaller. photobucket's not working, kena guna hello from picasa!


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

cried, at last...


after a few attempt to make me cry, tonite, i did it. mood was deteriorating since lunch and it was worst towards the end of the day in the office. workload was alrite, busy the whole morning but when calls are less and things to do dah settle, i started feeling sad and down. i planned to watch a movie and saw you, me & dupree was available at 6.45pm. gotta move fast to get tickets, i thought.

memang dah plan baekkk punya. i arrived and mood nak tengok wayang tetiba takde. so i bought myself a pair of earrings[nih kes buang tebiat, tetiba nak pakai earrings. nasib baik lubang earrings tak terkambus lagi. hehehehe!], i bought at big hair clip to accomodate my thick hair and a scrungee[girls, sure you all tahu kan apa scrungee nih...].

then masuk isetan and walk around. tetiba rasa sedih & sebak. owh no! empangan nak pecah ke? and i walked out of isetan. terserempak dengan my ex-colleague. she dragged me to le cucur to have tea. eisk. guwe tengah sedih nih. how can i handle an old friend? sure banyak yang nak cerita. sure banyak yang dia nak cerita. eye contact. sangatlah bahaya kalau dia tahu i was beginning to cry when she saw me.

and we talked. all went smoothly when she suddenly asked the killer question with a heavy northern accent;
..."suraya tengah sedih ka nih? akak tengok muka macam ada masalah....cerita lah, mana tau akak boleh tolong-tolong"...
goodness. that's the last thing i wanted. and of course i said i'm ok. but i know, she can sense it. hmmm...

balik, masuk bilik je, empangan pun pecah. i cried. i said things. kesiankan diri. how could things like the past happen to me? was i careless? was i being ignorant of what are the consequences? why i was being stupid by letting things that are not suppose to happen, happen??? why is it so hard?

and the effort of letting go memang menjadi but i realise that i actually hate that person. cekya benci, benci, benci dia! benci coz disebabkan dia, i crumpled my feelings, my soul and dengan bodohnya, ignore segala apa yang cekya tahu akan berlaku. how stupid.

owh i cried. no biggie. but to let off the emotional baggage that i have carried for the past few weeks, priceless. i still feel sad and wanna cry. i'll do just that before putting myself to bed.

like a friend said, if crying, dapat memujuk that 'ruined' heart, then do it. just do it.

take care darlings.


p/s : on a lighter note, cekya dah dapat cakap dgn ira & ika today. i cried after talking to them. people can be so cruel!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

cekmi's 13th birthday!


last friday, we meet up for cekmi's birthday dinner kat restoran lala, kg baru. tatot, me, wtl, adlin[cekmi's friend], julie[cekya's friend] and of course the birthday man himself, cekmi. awan couldn't make it[we missed you la bro!!], as well as azell & zuhri[both outstation-we missed both of you too!]...

so here are some pics for you guys to enjoy[and envy, of course]...;)

owh in case you guys are wondering about the above last pic, it's some tool i found in tatot's car. no wonder she's tardy. someone's operating a beauty parlour!

p/s : sorry biah, it's just too funny to find a brush in your car. dunnnoo whyyy[sila nyanyi lagu norah jones]...hahahahah!!!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

csi = chocolate strawberry indulgence

p/s : tatot, thanx for the CSI definition. hahahaha!!!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

am i? a playground?

above is one of the pics i sent for a contest. playgrounds remind me of ira, ika, mai[my nieces], dibdib[kak lun's], snow, hariz[ligo's], umar[i_mshe's], nabil, nabila, natrah[cyberdad's] & adi[zuhri's]. sorry if i missed out anyone. i just missed being surrounded by ira, ika & mai.

it's been 3 months since we last saw each other. there are some big issues and they're not allowed to come and visit me & my family. their mother, my aunt & family, they don't really say it but from the reasons and stories, i know they don't want us near the kids, as well as the girls' dad. as for me, kalau orang tak nak, then i'd rather not go to their house and meet up. i believe, they might have said things that have made the kids scared of coming to our home. how cruel!

and yesterday, the girls' dad called and said that he managed to see ira ofter 3 months of being away. ira looked scared at first, he said. but after a few minutes consoling her, she began to hug and kiss her dad. i cried. goodness. how can human being be so cruel. he said that ira pesan to come and visit her once in a while at her school and reminded her dad to look out for her on tv as she'll be in one of the advert for coming raya. she said she missed all of us but were too scared to come and visit.

ira, ika, mai. in case you girls read this one day. auntie su just nak cakap that i love you guys so much!! and the fact that you girls are away, hurts, like hell! i miss you little ladies so much. my picture collections dah tak ada lagi gambar ira, ika & mai[Allah i missed this little budak botak!!!].
ira, take care of your sisters, alrite? i know you're one tough girl even if you're only 7..

i just wanna stop writing here. or i'll flood my keyboard. :'(


Monday, September 11, 2006

aku rindu!


this entry is dedicated to a friend. i just knew him. for a few months lah. he is married and we share the same passion. photography, that is. i have yet to meet his wife and i wish i can meet this lucky lady in person.

mr s talks endlessly about his wife one day. about her habits, tingkah laku dia and all nice things about his lady. he speaks highly of his wife, adoring every bit of her. the praises and sweet stuff that came out from his mouth was undeniably frank, truthful and honest.

i was a bit jealous of his lady. in a good way, of course. she has the most loving hubby. zaman sekarang ni, i rarely hear a man talks passionately about his wife. now tell me guys, berapa ramai lelaki zaman sekarang yang puji and adore his wife, yet very comfy talking about how much he loves her. i was like...woww...his wife is one lucky lady. after yearsss of marriage and they still stick together through thick and thin and from his voice, i know that he loves her deeply. he said that he himself and his wife, just fit. meant to be.

macam pepatah melayu;

bagai cincin dengan permata,
bagai merak dua sekawan.

i'm just happy for both you.
really, i do.


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

few old pictures and a broken heart...


hey people!! first of all, sorry sgt sebab lambat post pictures. actually the pictures are not so great pun. tired and all. so i managed to snap a few. and these are the ones that i liked. lain tu gelap la...and i didn't bring my camera during out second meet-up kat klcc which i guess would be wonderful kalau cekya snap pics sebab terang benderang. i should have brought my camera...deng!!!

but anyway...i've been busy dengan wedding jobs yang nak siapkan, keje-keje office yang kena settlekan promptly. i love the fact that i'm busy. cekya tak payah fikir pasal benda ngarut-ngarut, yang menyedihkan, yang me-ngok-ngek-kan cekya. hehehe...

owh yea. speaking about benda mengarut. i have been praying hard to Allah to let me off the feelings i have. cekya carik macam-macam jalan to hate that person. jahat ek? but cekya buat untuk kebaikan sendiri. rasanya dah tak sanggup lagi sedih-sedih. and something happened, dengan kuasa Allah, cekya dah dapat petunjuk yang sangat-sangat jelas. alhamdulillah. rasa happy sangat. rasa bertuah sangat. rasanya, it is to HIM that we seek guidance. takde masalah nak tanya kawan-kawan but at the end of the day, things happen dengan kuasa Allah.

cuma satu je cekya nak buat sekarang. to let go everything 101%. to cry. i really wanna cry. that's my remedy for yearsss!hahaha...i've been reading books given by tatot but still belum nangis. mengalir-ngalir airmata sikit-sikit nih tak syoklah! to the extent i can't cry anymore? ceh! men! tatot said that it's me myself. bukan that person yang buat cekya macam ni. i'm not gonna argue nor i'm gonna agree. it's me who's facing this. but thanx gurl for lending the books!!

but since yesterday, cekya cam over cerialah sikit. walaupun kerja banyak, i'm just so relieved. lega. rasa ringan sikit kepala nih....and i hope it'll continue sampai bila-bila.

gotta go guys. nak kena siapkan some job description & appraisal forms. pemalas betul la hr department nih. semua humban kat staff untuk buat sendiri...

i thought they are paid to do all that. *sigh*

take care people. wassalam!!