Sunday, March 26, 2006

sleepless in ss1..

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it's 1:30am in the morning. wtl is still not asleep yet, worrying about her test esok. i know she'll score(doa nih sis!:D) and me, still not asleep for quite a list of reasons.'s hot. and i have things in my mind. risaukan itu. fikirkan ini. which i really hate! i believe cekmi tido lena malam ni. he actually cut off his hair, i believe using mesen potong rumput. abes licin, tinggal akar jek. ngeh!ngeh!ngeh!

i'm meeting some bloggers tomorrow. i notice that i'm more transparent nowadays. meeting online friends are not as tough as it was before. i guess the feelings are purely because of good friendship and great companion. they are who they are, virtually. even more gila & hilarious in person. and i just love having many sets of friends. it keeps me from thinking too much about things. tapi bila sorang-sorang, like tonite, i started thinking about stuff. silly me!

i spent sleepless nite last week, siapkan keje and feeling cranky in the mornings, and yet, i'm not taking advantage of the weekend. eisk!

what i really need no is lepak on the beach alone. and think, and ponder, and feel the cool must be a good feeling, kan?

i must, must must sleep now. till later darlings!

Friday, March 24, 2006

busy ke?


i'm mighty busy. i believe everyone pun busy...! minggu ni, there were alot of things to organise kat office, meetings attended, liaising with cranky people, balik lewat coz lepak for teh tarik, nearly every night! hahahaha....!

talk about tt, i met with some photography freaks! best sangat, i got to meet people yang ada same interest as mine. 3 jam lepak, rasa macam 3 minit jek. we exchanged ideas and tips. ada plak salah sorang tu professional photographer, lagiii la galak tanya itu ini. and it will not be me, if i don't snap piccas, right? here are some of it, gathered together, like i did with my dinner with cekmi, wtl & tot.
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they are indeed, a set of creative people. it's a pleasure meeting them!
till later, have a great weekend!

Sunday, March 19, 2006

a get together!

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i guess the pictures speak louder than words kot? yup! had dinner with cekmi, wtl & tatot. we talk and talk and talk.

pastu kena halau dek orang-orang haji samuri coz they were closing. wakakakaka! tak pernah aku kena halau kat eating places coz lepak lama-lama, pastu ketawa tak ingat dunia!

i met wtl before and this is our first time meeting the famous captain.

a sentence that would describe him, despite his serious postings is;

"a captain who is comel, cenonet & cheeky who resides at gunung caves!"'re not wrong. he said it's gunung caves, instead of batu caves. wah!

i had loads of fun. dah lama tak gelak camni. it feels good, just to laugh and forget my issues. guys, we should do this more often!

kak lun, zuhri, awan, ligo and the rest....jangan jelous ha!

enjoy more pictures @ my fotopages.


p/s : cekmi, semalam singgah kedai buku dgn wtl ke....singgahhh...errr...karaoke??hhikhikhikhikhik!!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


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it's been hard lately. cekya tak tahu nak describe macam mana. i smile. i laugh. tapi rasanya semua tu tak dapat nak wash away this feeligs i have inside.

i realise, at some point, things are not gonna run smoothly for me. it never will. all of those self esteem & confidence that i built - shattered.

i've started blaming myself for things that have happened. pathetic ke? biar la apa orang nak cakap. i'm sad and no one would have gone thru the same things as i'm going thru. cekya sedihh..sedihh sangat.

i know, in my condition, i'm not entitle to any relationships kot. it's just not going to happen.i believe, some of you will think,"hey! don't put yourself down", "we're special in our own way" or "be positive". those lame sentences that i felt like strangling whoever yang cakap macam tu kat cekya.

why is it that i get bad treatments in return? why is it that i felt diperbodohkan ni?? why is it that whatever i do, is not appreciated, at all?

i did it wrongly ke? i'm being someone they don't favour ke? coz i don't look nice ke? doesn't mean that i don't look like catherine zeta-jones that i don't have any hearts!

what is the problem? what actualy happen? only Allah knows how much i wanna know. leaving me like foot prints left a big empty space in my heart.

am i not eligible for any of those nice feelings?
to date, i don't think i am.

am i that teruk for people to do these things to me?

the frustration is driving me nuts. work is another thing. i can't afford to loose myself now. keje banyak and i have big commitments in the office.
i'm struggling not to let my tears fall when anybody's around.

pray for me so that i'll be strong.
thank you.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006


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i'm on 'serabut' mode. lotsa stuff. i always always have plans to organise what i have to settle in the office. kononnya nak buat kat rumah la but when i see my pink bed, the plans were ruined! hahahaha!

lotsa on-going projects, ad-hoc stuff that needs attention, emotional grief, painful shoulder blades. oowhhh hurtful!

but anyways, zuhri tagged me;

"8 Different Points of a Perfect Lover"

hey no one's perfect la cek abang! but anyways, i would put up my points here. remember, i'm in a 'serabut' mode, so the points might be...err...rather not achievable. ngeh!ngeh!ngeh!

1. loving ~ owh i'm a sucker for someone who shows care and what not. it's just so right, to be in love and having someone who's loving and once in a while, romantic. all these while, i've come across engineers, and they are all the most expressionless, as well as emotionless people on the planet earth. am not sure about mars. fellow engineers, i'm sorry la. this is my findings.hahahaha!

2. religious ~ not SO alim but can guide me and well versed with our religion. besides, a good partner, should have this quality. a must!

3. intelligent ~ not einstein level but not as dumb as bean. a wise man would do. ;)

4. eyes ~ owh i've mentioned this before. i love looking at them. eyes. one trait that would definitely gain points from me. how the 'selected' eyes look like? i can't really describe. when i look at them, then i know it's mine...adoh mushy-nya aku!

5. sense of humor ~ cekya suka gelak. and i need someone who can accept when i say 'bengong' sambil ketawa and not sulk coz he thinks that i'm being rude. ngoh! make me laugh and i'll love. huhuhu...mushy lagik!

6. appreciative ~ i've never found this. it's sad when i go unnoticed when doing stuff or say anything. it's just too disappointing for me. coz i am like that. thank you, that's nice of you, take care, are some of the sentences that do wonders when i'm down and i never get all that back. i guess i'll just have to give and will never get back anything in return.

7. supportive ~ be one when i'm lost. at work, in my passion, anything that i do. there's no need to condemn me or give nasty remarks when i have problems at work. be interested in what i love most, photography even if he's not keen. it's just photography. not drug dealing.

8. knows me more than anyone else ~ yes. he has to know me. study me. learn me. i'm not difficult. owh i love to sulk. bak kata orang-orang tua,"merajuk pada yang kasih". kalau tatau kasih ke tak, merajuk kejap je.

guess that's about it. dalam busy-busy pun, sempat gak point out benda nih. hahahaha!
take care people!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

busy lady bee...


hari ni, genap 10 hari cekya tak update. zuhri pun dah tertido nunggu cekya update. ampeh! asyik ngenakan cekya jek dia nih! nanti dia!
but anyways, yes, i've been busy. my shoulder blades are killing me. duduk buat keje and settle banyak benda. semua document dah berterabur jadiknya. i had to clean the table up before starting up with my new project tomorrow. analysis & design dah buat, tinggal programming part dia nak kena buat. pening gak. dah lama tinggalkan alam pengaturcaraan nih. wakakakaka!!! skemanyer!
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-my semak samun table-

and to make things worst, all IT personnels are given a 'blackberry';

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-my blackberry-
it's actually a tracking device to me. anyone in the company can search for me thru calls & emails and i shall receive it thru this device coz we're on stand-by, 24-7. tabley lariii beb!! i must say, it's the busiest week ever. and the tracking started last week, a day after i receive it. me & my boss receive some comments from the ED and my boss asked me to work something out for our website enhancement and guess who stayed up to get ready the necessaries?

yes, the lady, with blackberry.

i truly hoped you guys are healthy, doing good in life and baik-baik aja. hugss for all of you!