Friday, May 31, 2013

Test with Mobile!

Update test from Blackberry!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Celcom Mobile.

sempurnakan aku.

"semua begitu salah, tanpa dirimu"

at 34, i'm still struggling. i'm still searching. :(

on a lighter note;

my dad with a chinese uncle at the ortho clinic, ppum. comel jek jumpa geng sambil borak2 and gelak. his name is ngiau(comel kottt!). 
my dad would probably say "i'm roarrrr!" but that didn't happen.
it was "i'm abdullah." instead.

have a good weekend!

love, cekya.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

hate. benci.


Hatred is just dangerous.

It makes you search for more reasons to hate.

I hate someone.
And I know it's bad. Berdosa.

But I can't help it. Things this person do, or say, they just 'asking' for hatred. Even things coming out of this person's mouth, most of the time, are full of hatred. Silap sikit, maki. Aih. I'm glad, I'm not a foul-mouthed person. Paling-paling pun, "Eeeiii bodoh!" Hahahaha.

Ok. That's like a few 'hatred' clogged in a paragraph.

Cekya tahu, this person has a kind heart. Orang cakap, mulut je kesat, tapi hati baik. But it bothers me so much that this person sometimes, has influenced my mind, and the decisions that I wanna make. Which I hate. Huh! Semuanya buruk. Orang lain semua ada niat tak baik. Apa yang orang buat semua bermaksud jahat. Apakah?

Tak semua yang kita nampak zahirnya tu buruk, dalamnya pun buruk. Kan?
Tak semua orang yang menolong kita punya niat tak baik. There's a word for it - ikhlas.

Aura negatif macam ni, membuatkan Cekya sentiasa rasa tak selesa. Rasa marah. Rasa bengang kalau lepak dengan dia. 

I won't say it to his/her face. Coz it'll hurt him/her bad. Even dia pernah ckp kat Cekya,"Gi mampos!" How I wish mati itu tidak melibatkan dosa pahala. Tidak melibatkan perasaan orang-orang yang sayangkan kita although ianya adalah hak Allah SWT. Mungkin dia akan happy kalau Cekya mampos(I feel so low typing this word).

Mungkin Cekya terlalu terasa hati bila dia mahu Cekya 'gi mampos'. Mungkin dia bergurau? Bergurau tentang hidup mati?

Astaghfirullah. This is a reminder. How mad I am. I shall always istighfar.

Untuk menangani dia, menjauhkan diri adalah yang terbaik, mungkin.

Distance(or time) might make my heart missed him/her. Maybe.

I just have to learn to let go. Letting go the hatred.

Ya Allah, Kau permudahkanlah. Amin.

Love, Cekya.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

A not so new journey?


I'm excited to write and continue on my long overdue online novel - .

Need your support!


Love, Cekya.

P/S : On a lighter note, met YB Khairy last Sunday, at the Festival Belia 2013 masa bukak bazaar. Hahaha. One of those unforgettable moments kot. Weehooo!!!