Monday, December 18, 2006


pagi nih memenatkan. bangun pagi, lutut & tapak kaki giler sakit! kepala sakit.

semalam ada wedding job kat perak. so was standing from morning till later evening. tapi walaupun penat, the majlis was so colourful. meriah. family pengantin pun very welcoming. penat pun hilang!

above are some piccas. will upload more in
oh! i just wanna inform that wtl has joined the promotions and marketing division of redmedia team. we welcome her and her dedicated effort to bring us to a higher level. good luck, girl! ;)


Sunday, December 10, 2006


saturday was a total disaster. as a result of me having a weird sleeping pattern during the week[balik keje tido, till 12am, berjaga till 4am, then sambung tido till 8.30am], i wake up rather late. gila lambat. my dad even poked[yes, poked] the door which he don't usually do unless i got up really late. ugh! and i got headache throughout the day and decided to sleep again after maghrib. hahaha...conclusion, saturday was a sleeping marathon altogether. and i decided i had to do something on sunday, early in the morning.

cekya teringat cinta. the movie, of course. wtl text me that she cried watching it. hmm... i thought it's gonna be an emotional challenge for me. i wanna test myself. whether i will cry watching this rich-in-emotions movie.i remembered seeing all of the promotions posters all over the lrt stations.

i booked a ticket for sunday morning show. yes, alone.

first 45 minutes or so, i was alright. actually, i only cried once, when they played anuar zain's song - perpisahan. been listening to his number for days and after seeing the scenes, which i can relate, has made my eyes watery. only. cinta has challenged me, emotionally. quite right.

there were 5 love stories. but the one that has actually gave the slap on my face was haris & airin's marriage. it's like seeing myself on the big screen. haris, a loving hubby. a caring dad. someone's hopelessly romantic. he's head over heels with airin.
and one day, she left.
with someone else.
with some stupid reasons.
with a guilty face which i doubt, is sincere.

menyesal ke dia? her apologises meant nothing. anymore. that's what i feel. and i guess.. haris felt the same.

i hold back my tears.i was choking, refraining myself from crying.

that's me. what he felt was me.
and i felt lonelier. more than ever.

cekya memang rasa nak bangun. nak balik. but i wondered, will she come back? and i wanted to know. i needed to know. coz i know, haris wants her to come back. that’s exactly what i would want.

wanna know? watch cinta.

on the way back, i played anuar’s song – perpisahan on my mp3 player. i got tears streaming on my cheek. goodness. sebaknya. cekya tak ingat sesiapa or apa-apa langsung dalam cerita tu, except for haris, and haris only. how he struggled with his emotions. how he slept with all the love notes that airin had left in their bedroom. how he saw refelctions of airin in that room, at the dressing table, on the bed, on the mirrors. it’s too heart breaking. emotionally unbearable. it's like seeing me, some time, in the past. oh here’s the lyrics of anuar’s song:

perpisahan - anuar zain
ku mengerti perpisahan ini
bukan kerana kau membenci
tapi kasih yang pernah ku beri
tiada lagi bersama

sering kala aku terlihatkan mu
impian nan indah julang bahagia
ku harungi hari demi hari
bersama wajah tak mungkin akan kembali

tapi hati masih tak terima
ditinggalkan sengsara

keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
perasaan hati masih rindu
kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku
tercari-cari bayanganmu

tak sanggup aku kehilangan

masih tercari-cari
keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
masih tercari-cari bayanganmu
tak sanggup aku kehilanganmu

anyone wants the mp3, do email me.

as at now, i'm still crying. buckets. eisk!
cinta, cekya

p/s : i hope that my cousin, will watch this movie, coz whatever alisa [haris & airin's only daughter. teringat-ingat mata berkaca alisa when her dad's living]is experiencing, are the emotional torture that she's giving to ira, ika and mai. you b*tch!sorry guys. it's just too frustrating.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

my day...

guys, thank you so much for the wishes...

Friday, December 01, 2006

seven sisters country park...

salam people!!

as i have promised you, the seven sisters country park! it is a popular location for a number of outdoor activities including walking, cycling and canoeing.

the country park is named after the famous seven sisters[nama cliffs - haven brow, short brow, rough brow, brass point, flat hill, bailey's hill & went hill] that form part of the sussex chalk cliffs[cekya tak pegi pun coz very windy. takut tercampak. angin dia kuat woo...serious nih!!] on britain's heritage coastline. sources :

i know, i can spend hours here. cekya gi sorang aje, my uncle dropped me here and i wandered around. with sun shining, wind blowing. it's such a beautiful weather to shoot. so here are some of those puluhan shots. enjoy! ;)

oh i'm pretty busy these few days, since masuk kerja. rasa nak pengsan. and i got blisters plak kat kaki. pedih nak pakai kasut gi keje. ke sana, ke mari. sampai kaki luka. eisk!!

anyways, have a fun weekend, guys!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

brighton's railway station - carboot sale!


hi people...

brighton's railway station is a place where most people in brighton commute and take the train to london, to london bridge station or london victoria station for them to go to work, or simply to go for a shopping spree.

but we'll talk about london later.

here's some pictures i took at the weekly car-boot sale at the car park of brighton's railway station. only on sundays! it's simple amazing to actually see and have the viewing pleasure of what these people are selling. kelakar pun ada gak la. things yang kita tak jangka pun org akan jual but it's there. old phones, projectors[the ones they use kat panggung wayang yang lama], as well as new stuff macam crystal vase yang mama cekya beli. it's only 7 pounds. kalau kat kedai biasa, it's almost 70-80 pounds. huhuhuhu....

there are also story books, all in good condition selling for a pound or paling mahal pun, a pound and 50 pence. murah eh? baju kids, baju adults, comforters, segala pinggan mangkuk. china set pun ado! punah betul diorang nih. segalanya dijual. sekali imbas, as if they brought the whole house to sell...

here are some pictures kat sekitar market tu.

next entry will be the seven sisters country park. amazing name eh? wait till you see the park. the most amazing view i've ever seen!

p/s : wtl, cekmi, thanx for spending the evening. best lak borak2 sampai tak sedar dah pukul 10! hahaha...

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

in malaysia again...

salam all!

i heard that everything's well with everybody. except for azell, she lost her handphone. goodness. nevermind. a good reason to have a new one though. hehehehe...

anyways, i'm gonna start to bored you people with bits and pieces of my story during my stay in the UK, to be specific, in brighton, london & barking.

after the safe landing at heathrow, me & my family immediately head for brighton, south of london, taking a 45 minutes of journey. sampai pukul 4 petang and it was dark, macam dah pukul 8 malam. yeah, shorter days and longer nights for us! it was 12'C and windy. goodness! cekya tak sangka langsung that it would be THAT cold.

anyways, brighton's definitely a nice place. reminds me alot of barking[i'll tell about barking later], when i was completing my final semester, 8 years back. kat brighton nih, life's slow. semuanya slow. in a good way lah. very relaxing. take your own sweet time boarding off the bus and driver would still smile and say, "thank you!"

another interesting fact about brighton is, it's where my dad used to study, completing his degree. i did follow him wandering around the town, searching for his old flats[we couldn't find it and he's a little disappointed]. he kept guessing and tried to remember places yang dia pernah lepak, places he go, shops. next door neighbour. everything. he even asked my aunt if sainsbury's is still there. . indeed, it is still there,cuma dah kecik sikit dari dulu.

here are some of the pictures in brighton. i'll post more pictures nanti. till later!

p/s : notice that shop - REDS? wish Redmedia would have some shop like that one day. a studio, i mean. in london maybe? huhuhuhuhuhu!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

bye for now...

hi guys. after a few days of busy, busy schedule, i started my leave today. dari pagi, busy jugak but busy packing. though last minute, alhamdulillah, i've settled everything this evening, and i'm ready to leave. the flight's at 11.15am tomorrow morning, 15th november 2006.

guys, do take care and pray that the journey and everything would go smoothly.
insya-Allah, if i have the time[which i'm not pretty sure], i will update the blog.


Thursday, November 09, 2006

some stuff, through my eyes...


here's some pics i took during an outing with a sweet comel friend. a guru in photography. he has a great selection of pictures @

anyways, keje office dah kurang but i have things to settle.
and my weekend, is packed!!
saturday dah abes coz my bros are going to have their friends at home. kena masak. nasik tomato's in my mom's list. jaga la budak berdua tuh. nanti balik from uk, i'm gonna invite my friends for bbq and you guys are going to do the bbq-ing. berdiang ler kat bara api tuh. hehehehe...

and on sunday, gotta see some friends before i go off and petang sikit nak gi carik luggage. yeah. cekya tak pack satu haper pun lagik. siap baru nak beli luggage tuh. hahahha...i thought of buying it coz cekya ingat nak visit s'pore & india[i need the luggage for this trip] next year. nak tangkap gambar puas-puas! insya-Allah! wanna come, guys? hehehhe...

i might do a little checklist here in my blog. korang tak kesah kan? it's just for my note. youall nak baca or add things to it, please do. esok lah cekya prepare.

it's 12.30am. i must sleep now. nite-nite friends.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

done, another portion...


it's 2 am. i'm still up. i guess, being too tired pun, susah nak tido. and yes. cekya letih sangat. banyak nak settle dalam minggu nih. cekya tertekan betul.

with reference to the below entry[tulis blog pun dah macam tulis formal letter], cekya tertanya jugak, when will be the glorious time, or day, that i will let go. a dear friend have sweetly asked me to forgive. i got my eyes bertakung dengan airmata bila dia cakap gitu. to forgive. then only i can proceed with whatever i may wanna do about all these. but first, forgive him.

maafkan dia? cekya akan cuba. coz me, being me and letting my feelings flow will worsen the situation. melayan perasaan, adakalanya memburukkan keadaan, kan? i must make myself worthy. takleh nak macam ni. sedih. hurt. whatsoeva. bla bla bla.

and sometimes, crying does wonders. dah tak tahu la mana nak buat nih.
apa pun, i feel sad that i feel that i'm losing a very dear friend. rasa jauh.
dan hilang, dan lenyap, dan kosong.
i missed being a good friend.
i missed being someone for him to refer to on anything.
i missed the old times, oh i do.

though the london trip will only be 2 weeks, i know i'll cry inside knowing that i'll leave him. and you guys. people who means so much to me. coz i know. i might or might not return.
frankly, i never want to return...:(

i hope the shadows in the picture is like me, being here, beside you guys, even if i'm not around.

cukuplah kot pengalaman selama 28 tahun di malaysia. i always wanted to start anew.
may Allah bless us all and give me the chance, one way, or another.

nite. take care people.

[some dialog that caught me speechless in 'gubra']

We should talk about this.
>Orked, you don’t have to do this.
>Orked, let me tell you this.
>You were traveling so much. And I think I was lonely.
>And she threw herself at my feet.
>She’s nothing. She’s nothing.
>She’s just a piece of meat. Yes!
>Sayang, I love you more than anything on earth.
>Forgive me please.
>She’s nobody, sayang!
>You’re my wife. She’s nothing, sayang!
>She’s stupid, you know. Compared to you.
>You have no idea, how stupid she is.
>I can’t even hold a decent conversation with her.
>Sayang, forgive me sayang…
>You know, she’s nothing more than a mistake, you know…
>I promise to you, I will never make that stupid mistake ever again.

>What are we to you?
>What are women to you?
>Stupid? Piece of meat?
>Hey kau yang bodoh, kau tahu tak??
>You’re the piece of meat!!
>You’re the stupid mistake!
>Bloody stupid melayu man!

p/s : malay men, no offense. but some of you, are like that. but i know, there are MORE good malay men. it's just that i have not found mine. ;)

Monday, November 06, 2006



i guess this is going to be a long entry.
there were so many things that have happened for the past few days;

kak lun got her second hero.[payah betul nak sebut nama your baby nih!]
awan got a new dslr camera and visiting singapore. [i envy you!]
cekmi got a new mum for raya. and he likes her. splendid eh? [you looked blushin red yesterday. why eh?]
wtl finished her classes with flying...errr..not colours but bebel2 coz she got a "ntah apa-apa lecturer" and shared answers with her classmates in the exam hall.[ding dong bell, gurlll!!!]
i_mshe's worried sick about her mommy. hoped she'll fine in no time, sis. [hugs!]
kak emmy hold a brilliant 'open house' yesterday. smashin' food. groovy tunes. [one of the biskut sedap sangat. the one with choc rice on top. heaven!]

me? i had muar on saturday. slept the whole journey, pergi, and balik as well. sheesh. last week was pretty tiring for me. banyak keje cekya nak habiskan before i go for that two weeks holidays. i repeat, TWO weeks. and my new short, kecoh, berlagak and stuck-up GM a.k.a OTP[read : orang tua pendek] is questioning my leave. hello! it's only TWO freakin' weeks!
minggu nih pun busy jugak. nih pun dah fedap mengadap kerja and from the look at it, i have to take home some stuff. and the worst thing is dok siapkan keje orang. as if!!! takper. sabar cekya. i hope london would give me a pleasant surprise. and as at now, i'm not excited for london. geez!

sunday, a visit to kak emmy's place, and 2 other friends later that evening. it was great, meeting my friends and letting go those ridiculous documents. good fun, will upload 'em piccas later..;)

emotionally, i'm just ruined.
i've got a friend. a close one. no strings attached. should not be any. but i found out that this person has been going out with someone. intimately.
cekya marah? yes.
cekya jealous? yes.
i do have a little feelings tapi tu tak membuatkan cekya marah & jealous. i know where i stand and this feelings won't go far.
the reason why i'm just so pissed off that this person actually lied to me on a few occasions. the reason of lying to me is because of the girl he's seeing. he lied. oh come on. kuala lumpur is considered a small town. malaysia ni, kecik aje. wherever you are, putrajaya, kajang, bangsar. akan ada orang yang kenal. and sikap orang malaysia ni, ala kecoh sket. mesti bagitahu. and being a close friend to him, i was told of these stories. why did you lie to me?
oh i have proofs. and it's just so sickening. annoying. and it has made me cry, and broke my hearts into a million pieces.
napa ek cekya nangis? why should i?
entah. cekya pun confuse. and trust me, i hated these feelings more than i have ever imagined.
confront him? untuk apa? what rights am i going to claim? i have no relationships whatsoeva with him. kang tak pasal-pasal kena balik. and lately, i've been very somber and unenthusiastic with the stuff he talks or anything that he plans for us. kecik hati? i guess.
and i know he's just so annoyed with my attitude.
nak buat cemana, i just can be quiet. pendamkan aje. bukan nak. tapi terpaksa. they say some things are better left unsaid. i guess they missed out the part, "and it'll hurt like hell".
i just pray, the person i mentioned above would read this and understand why i'm not being myself lately. too bad. the heart's ruined!

oh i'll write more later. ada kerja pulak!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

mom's birthday...


yesterday was my mom's birthday. i bought some cake and kfc and had a little dinner. just the 2 of us. the guys in the house, semua takde. my dad, outstation[he sent a shweet sms though. check out the pic], tengku mahkota was on standby at work and my youngest brother was in uniten, sitting for his final semester.

these few days cekya letih sangat. keje banyak and sleep was like a food to me. hungy for nice beauty sleep. hehehe...
anyways, i hoped everyone's fine. kak lun, congratulations take care!

Friday, October 27, 2006

lost hope...

Doaku agar kaukan selalu bahagia
Agar kau temui insan tulus menyayangimu
Lepaskanlah diriku kerna keredhaanmu
Bukan kerna dendam jua bukan kerna kau terpaksa

Ku tinggalkan memori bersamamu
Kuundur diri bersama harapan

Chorus :
Tidak kesampaian cinta kita
Kubawa harapan kupendam rahsia
Ku dikejauhan mendoakan
Agar kau bahgia tiada lagi duka
Daku rela mengundur diri
Ku pasti dikaukan fahami

Tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan
Andai telah tertulis kuterima ini bukannya kupinta
Oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku
Cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku

Fazli Zainal :: Harapan

Thursday, October 19, 2006



hi people. cekya busy sangat these few days. i hope i can make another entry before we go RAYA!!
i'm having a tough time in the office. we got a new GM and he sucks. big time. his ICT plans are alright tapi cara dia...erghh....just so annoying.
please, pray for me so i can get thru him.
please, pray for me so i can get hooked with a rich british guy who would take me back to his place and pay for my photography courses in london. [hahaha ngarut yea? well that's in my mind right now.]
please, pray for me that i can finish these blardy reports before end of the week.

love you guys so muchie.
owh. dah bayar zakat? mine settled. i even take a shot of my portion up above. you ols[i sounds so kak-lun] dah bayar ka blom?


Friday, October 13, 2006


yeyyy! we had our long planned buka puasa semalam kat restoran lala, kg baru.
kak emmy, wtl, tatot, awan, cekmi, azell and azell's sister were there. including yours truly la...
apa ek kita makan geng? sebab cekya tak sempat nak snap gambar coz everybody was attacking the food. hahhaha...ikan masak tiga rasa, sotong goreng tepung, kailan ikan masin, tomyam campur, sotong cendawan & kerabu mangga. fuhhhh....laparnya cerita pasal makan tengahari cenggini...huhuhuhu!
there are some of the pics. i've uploaded the full collections at

i can't wait to have everybody in a meet-up.

Monday, October 09, 2006

they are back!


the hazy mazy is backk!! rasa macam kat frasers hill. hahahah...cuma udara dia tak fresh la. bila inhale, bau mcm dr asap terbakar. cekya letak gambar kat atas tu, it's from my office window, mengadap kg baru. rupa dah cantik dah ek? hehehe...

i just hope that i'll retain my health as it is now. harapnya tak asthma walaupun ada sesak nafas sikit and batuk2. hope it'll not get worst.

take care people!


Thursday, October 05, 2006

being human?

salam all...

below is the answer i got from this blogger yang took my pic. sad but true.

manusia ni, cakap kasar, mmg le tak elok tapi cakap baik-baik, kena maki pulak.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

being romantic?

Tersenyum Melihat Gambarmu
Di Jendela Bawah Lengkung Bulan Itu
Yang Berkata Kau Jua Rindu

Aku Menanti Tiba Hari
Berdua Kita Kembali
Melihat Angkasa
Yang Berkata-Kata

Ku Cinta Ku Sayang
Aku Rindu
Rupanya Kita Serupa

Kau Cinta Kau Sayang
Kau Pun Rindu
Rupanya Kita Serupa

Bila Terkena Cahaya
Bulan Menerangi
Ke Jiwa Diriku
Pesanan Luahan Cinta Kamu

Ingin Ku Temui Kamu
Kembali Ke Pangkuanku
Melihat Angkasa
Seperti Waktu-Waktu Yang Lalu

Dah Ku Sayang Dah Ku Cinta
Dan Sudah Ku Rindu Kamu

Di Mana Kita Berdua
Bersama Berasmara
Ke Akhir Nyata

Rupanya Kita Serupa :: Datin Siti Nurhaliza

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

curik & cekmi? ke cekmi & curik? aiseh!!


amcam puasa you guys? it's our 10th day. sekejap aje yea. semalam pagi, i was alerted by a friend about my picture being posted in a blog without my consent. terkejut, blur, excited. i felt all of 'em. pelik pun ada. here's a snapshot of the blog. cekya tak marah. cuma terkilan. susah sangat ke nak mintak permission from me? i would be glad to have my pictures in other blogs. contohnya cekmi yang dengan pipi berkilatnya telah meletakkan credit. susah sangat ke???

takperlah. he can think, he should know what and what not to do, right?

cakap pasal cekmi, semalam dia buli cekya. he asked whether i have bought kain for langsir. kalau beli, beli lebih, boleh buat baju. and kalau ada lebih lagi, sekali dengan tudung!!! hampehh betul la. ada banyak lagi his antics tapi maleh nak sebut sini. geram betul guwe...

cekmi! dah siap ke plan kita nak berbuka tu, segala bagai itinerary dia. huhuhuhu...nanti kasik tahu yea...daripada cekmi menikmati keindahan alam on the way gi class tu, apa kata cekmi fikir-fikirkan tempat berbuka. istana budaya sounds fantastic!

entah napa la cekmi semalam ek? agaknya kuali nak masak tu terbalik kena kepala dia kot...hahahahhaha...

oklah guys, gotta go. till later!

Thursday, September 28, 2006

5th day...?Already?


wow. dah masuk 5th day of ramadhan. i've been sick. demam yang hanya panas dalam badan. tak keluar haba2 panas tuh. baru malam semalam cekya perasan! dok confuse, why am i having continuious headache. tak baik-baik. badan rasa lemah jek. seram sejuk plak tu. kalau pegang badan cekya, macam mayat hidup kot. sejukkkk je but only Allah knows how i'm handling the heat in my body. both ears dah rasa bisa, tekak perit and my nose, kalau tak kanan, kiri yang blocked. sheesh!! pening kepala...toksah cerita lah!

pening the whole day. berair-air mata menahan perit dan rasa sungguh tak comfy. dugaan la semua ni. and last nite, baru terfikir, maybe demam. so i drank alot of hot water, milo, hot tea, bagi tenaga and masa bangun sahur tadi, badan berpeluh-peluh. the heat dah slowly out of my body!!!

and alhamdulillah, hari ni cekya dah elok sikit. rasa bertenaga nak pi kerja eventhough mengantuk sikit.

anyways, i've been wanting to write about problems. on how you handle it. one of the ways, is to talk things over with your closest friend or family. and you have to admit that you have set in your mind that you want people to react in certain ways after listening to you. correct?

as for me, when i talk about my problems or issues, i expect people to listen to me. comments or ideas jatuh tempat kedua. and for the reaction, i would prefer sombre answers or suggestions. shall i say, some mature approach?

i have friends who literally shouts, pissed off that instant and say harsh words when i tell them my problems. not at me, but people or things that are causing me sadness or things like that. i do appreciate such gesture. it shows that they really care but SHOUT? adeh. maki hamun tu jangan cakap la kan.

like hellooo!!! i'm having problems here. not you. i would appreciate some calmness and maturity on how you handle my 'aduan-aduan'. geez!! talkabout being emotional!! senang cerita, baik tulis kat blog nih aje. i have my blogsahabats who talks without any sound.

please guys, a round of applause for miss comments-space & mt haloscan...!hahahah....aman sikit. except when we meet, of course. and cekmi sering menjadi mangsa pot-pet-pot-pet cekya & the rest of the gang..hehehe....

berbalik pada kengkawan yang suka mengamuk, how would you prefer your friends/families to react to you lepas luahkan masalah or issues pertaining to your goodself?

and would you pick who you would express yourself to, referring to the way you react? me, i actually pick to whom shall i speak to. and my blogsahabats, mostly are on top of my list. they just know how and when to advise.

how about you?

p/s : selamat berbuka puasa untuk hari ini. ;)


Tuesday, September 26, 2006

major pain!


alhamdulillah, kita semua dah start puasa. cekya ok. masuk belum kantoi tapi kepala cekya sakit macam nak pecah 2-3 hari nih. and as at now. masih lagi sakit, hanya Allah yang tahu cemana peritnya...adui la....

cakap pasal sakit, zuhri's admitted to selangor medical center. small surgery. hari ni dah ok kot but still kat ward. sesiapa nak gi tengok pakcik tu, he's in room 431. ;)

above are some pics taken during the weekend.
aduh mata cekya kabur. mengantuk. kepala sakit. tekak perit. apsal nih?

nak restlah. till later guys...selamat berbuka!

p/s : pictures are smaller. photobucket's not working, kena guna hello from picasa!


Tuesday, September 19, 2006

cried, at last...


after a few attempt to make me cry, tonite, i did it. mood was deteriorating since lunch and it was worst towards the end of the day in the office. workload was alrite, busy the whole morning but when calls are less and things to do dah settle, i started feeling sad and down. i planned to watch a movie and saw you, me & dupree was available at 6.45pm. gotta move fast to get tickets, i thought.

memang dah plan baekkk punya. i arrived and mood nak tengok wayang tetiba takde. so i bought myself a pair of earrings[nih kes buang tebiat, tetiba nak pakai earrings. nasib baik lubang earrings tak terkambus lagi. hehehehe!], i bought at big hair clip to accomodate my thick hair and a scrungee[girls, sure you all tahu kan apa scrungee nih...].

then masuk isetan and walk around. tetiba rasa sedih & sebak. owh no! empangan nak pecah ke? and i walked out of isetan. terserempak dengan my ex-colleague. she dragged me to le cucur to have tea. eisk. guwe tengah sedih nih. how can i handle an old friend? sure banyak yang nak cerita. sure banyak yang dia nak cerita. eye contact. sangatlah bahaya kalau dia tahu i was beginning to cry when she saw me.

and we talked. all went smoothly when she suddenly asked the killer question with a heavy northern accent;
..."suraya tengah sedih ka nih? akak tengok muka macam ada masalah....cerita lah, mana tau akak boleh tolong-tolong"...
goodness. that's the last thing i wanted. and of course i said i'm ok. but i know, she can sense it. hmmm...

balik, masuk bilik je, empangan pun pecah. i cried. i said things. kesiankan diri. how could things like the past happen to me? was i careless? was i being ignorant of what are the consequences? why i was being stupid by letting things that are not suppose to happen, happen??? why is it so hard?

and the effort of letting go memang menjadi but i realise that i actually hate that person. cekya benci, benci, benci dia! benci coz disebabkan dia, i crumpled my feelings, my soul and dengan bodohnya, ignore segala apa yang cekya tahu akan berlaku. how stupid.

owh i cried. no biggie. but to let off the emotional baggage that i have carried for the past few weeks, priceless. i still feel sad and wanna cry. i'll do just that before putting myself to bed.

like a friend said, if crying, dapat memujuk that 'ruined' heart, then do it. just do it.

take care darlings.


p/s : on a lighter note, cekya dah dapat cakap dgn ira & ika today. i cried after talking to them. people can be so cruel!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

cekmi's 13th birthday!


last friday, we meet up for cekmi's birthday dinner kat restoran lala, kg baru. tatot, me, wtl, adlin[cekmi's friend], julie[cekya's friend] and of course the birthday man himself, cekmi. awan couldn't make it[we missed you la bro!!], as well as azell & zuhri[both outstation-we missed both of you too!]...

so here are some pics for you guys to enjoy[and envy, of course]...;)

owh in case you guys are wondering about the above last pic, it's some tool i found in tatot's car. no wonder she's tardy. someone's operating a beauty parlour!

p/s : sorry biah, it's just too funny to find a brush in your car. dunnnoo whyyy[sila nyanyi lagu norah jones]...hahahahah!!!