it's here, again...

dengarlah matahariku!

would i say it's unfair? and when i wanna just settle for 'unfair', thousands of stuff running through my mind. right through my mind.
it's tiring to think about how, and why, and maybe.

i guess not everybody has its ups right now. we'll just have to accept and adapt, don't you think? well people, i just have to touch base with myself. coz i've lost it somehow.

believe me, it's frustrating, more than ever. depressed? tell me about it. frankly, i don't appreciate rudeness, sarcasm and stuff like that. not at this point of time. and i cried last nite. sizzled myself today with work, lifted like 20 heavy monitors. and still, it's there. won't budge. just please, go away, silly feelings. don't make me cry another nite. i beg you. i want out of these mixed feelings.

berinjaklah dari tapak itu
ke relung dirimu sebenar
meniti laluan berpercik air dingin
merasa hembus angin dijinjang lehermu
menghidu bauan alam
alami damainya sekali lagi
lebih selesa, bukan?

love, cekya.

p/s : salam ulang tahun buat kak emmy & kak lun. cekya sayang kamu.
p/s 1 : salam menyambut ramadhan buat kalian. cekya harap, ramadhan kali ini bakal merubah segalanya. amin.
p/s 2 : i did a 12'x12' enlargement and framed the photo above and presented it as a wedding gift to my boss. he loves it. :)

makin hampir kah?

menitinya bukan mudah
namun aku takkan tahu, mungkin
rasanya pasti berbeda
tapi sakit kita, ternyata banyak yang sama
pedihnya saja udah sama
demi Tuhan, hati terguris
kalau kau memanggil nama ibu
bila bisa meragut tenangmu
garis masa sudah terlalu hampir, mungkin
kiranya, ia terlalu singkat buat kita
mati, mungkin kau mendahului
atau mungkin aku
hanya Tuhan yang Maha Mengetahui
mengertilah, fahamilah, terimalah
aku sentiasa ada
dan terima kasih, atas ingatan doa itu.

happy birthday girl!

my second scrapbook styled card!


it's shida's!

again, happy birthday, girl! notty dak nih. walaupun ada anak sorang. hahahha... and the kain on her shoulders is my gift to her. kain ela. cantek ah, suka!

love, cekya.

hujung minggu...

salam...

rasanya, hujung minggu lepas adalah yang ter'sakit'.

khamis :: kepala berat, depan mata, nampak berpusar-pusar. kalau tak berpegang mana-mana, alamat tumbang. susah juga orang mahu mengangkat cekya yang bertubuh comel ini. pukul 6 petang, semasa di pejabat, peluh dingin menitik. cekya bersandar dan cuba lelapkan mata. selepas setengah jam, rasa ok sikit, tapi badan masih rasa tak selesa. tiba di rumah, badan rasa letih semacam. duduk-duduk, baring-baring. terlena.

jumaat :: badan masih tak sehat. apa lagi. doktor + cuti sakit = yippee! doktor buat test. tekanan darah. ujian darah. segala yang berkaitan darah. kecuali dara. ops. he found something. i felt down and devastated. takpe. ini semua ujian, bukan?

sabtu malam, kami buat tahlil bulanan, macam biasa. nasib baik adik ipar kesayangan ada. dia boleh tolong mak cekya. huhu! i was so weak. perut tak selesa. tekak rasa berangin. bakal terkeluar fillet o fish yang cekya makan tengahari tu. cekya cuba kuatkan badan, kuatkan hati. letih nak sakit-sakit.

ahad shopping kain. dalam melayang-layang dan tubuh yang capek, cekya dapat juga pilih sepasang. sebenarnya, dah ada dalam kepala, kain yang cekya nak. tapi mak bagi ayat nih >> ''cuba la tengok-tengok dulu. banyak lagi kain lain nih.". rasanya sebab ini lah perempuan kalau shopping sampai 5 jam.

isnin, kerja macam biasa. lemah dan penat. tapi alhamdulillah, semuanya ok hingga ke petang.
harapnya, lepas ni, semuanya ok. cekya tak larat nak fikir-fikir. tak larat nak saratkan kepala.

ops. ada kerja.

cinta, cekya.

nota kaki : cek man dah pun keluar dari hospital. dah rasa sihat sikit katanya. "cuma x leh lari laju2 lagi la..." itu jawabnya. hehe. siapa suruh lari. :P

i wish you good health!

salam...

minggu lepas, we talked alot. through phone. through YM. we even played DJ as he & another colleague played ranges of music. dikir barat, hotel california. lagu biro tata negara pun ada. hehe. and we had so much fun laughing!

gambar di atas adalah gambar cek man yang buat-buat busy. hehehe.

cek man left our HQ office last 2 years, transfered by our evil boss. entah apa dengki, cekya pun tak tahu. since then, i missed a colleague, a friend, a brother. and his family is like family to me. his wife, a sister. his kids, my nephews and nieces.

and last monday, i was informed that he's in ICU.
unbelievable. i called some of the senior staffs and they informed me that yeah, it is true.

the story - he passed out, and fell full weight, on his HEAD. 2 other colleages who was with him tried to keep him awake and he started vomitting. then darah start keluar from his nose, and then dia muntah darah pulak. upon arrical at kemaman hospital, he was x-rayed and there was a 3 inches crack on his skull, at the back of his head. then, he was transfered to a medical center in kuantan.

8 of us, bertolak dari office to kuantan. cekya risau sangat. hati tak sedap and my mind is with his 4 kids. dah start rasa sebak and nak nangis tapi cepat-cepat tahan.

masa cekya sampai, he was conscious. cuma pening yang amat sangat. we let him rest and just waited for the doctor outside the ICU. and when i hugged his wife, i can feel that she's terrified and lonely. and she admits that after seeing us, their friends, she's a little relieved. well, i would feel the same way too. dah la merantau. no relatives around.

as at yesterday, cek man dah boleh bangun, shower and have his meals. apa pun, doctor is still observing him. and giving him medication untuk cairkan the blood clot in his head. or else, surgery...

cek man, cepat sembuh, ok?

love, cekya.

p/s : i hope kak lun will have all the strength that she can have. kita doa sama-sama, ok?

scrappy time!

salam!

i bought a few papers from craft haven @ one utama[http://www.craft-haven.com/] to do some origamies for a friend's birthday[will take photos and write about it in my next entry]. and of course, i have a few extra sheets to play with. another friend's birthday was just around the corner and decided to do some scrap-booking. things that are tedious and need lotsa patience, and in this case, only kak yati would have it. so i decided to give it a try, bought some scrapbook stuff, and some i just got it from the internet, and some leftover ribbons from the recent wedding. so here's my first scrapbook stuff - a birthday card! comments please.

and the birthday lady would be amilyn! she's a colleague of mine, we throw each other paperclips at all times. hehehe!

and here's what i got for her. a book - why men don't listen and women can't read maps. hell no! we can read maps. maps tu yang salah, ek ladies? huhuhuhu!

i'm so busy at work. penat sangat bila balik tu. will make some more entries nanti. next, origami!
love, cekya.

quite an update!

#me, kak yati, julie, ejot, aan at my bro's reception.#
[beca ditaja oleh saloma bistro & restaurant]

salam!

pelik, dulu-dulu masa muda-muda, rajin betul update blog. what i had for breakfast, what i bought during lunch time, what happened during my trip back home from office. sekarang nih, malas yang amat though i have so much to tell. and i have not been keeping in touch with fellow bloggers, especially yang nun jauh di temasik. really, my apologies. :)

work is hectic as usually. the company's implementing SAP, a new erp software, which has created havoc. imagine, the system goes live but none of the support team[who are involved in SAP] is actually in HQ to give support. tinggal la cekya & the rest of the technical guys. it was really a stupid decision to place everyone in other places and let the consultant be here in HQ. staff will look for us, NOT the consultant. tak pakai otak, or their brains are too BIG to handle internal issues. i hate doing something i don't have any idea about. it made me look stupid.


#taman tasik taiping, one of SEPI's location, on one of my job visits to taiping.#

argh!

dah la. males nak cakap about something i can't solve. buat pening haku jek. annoyed sungguh. rasa dah memang tawar hati dah nak keje company nih. need to send more resumes la. ok. enough of the bebel2 eh.

my nights are getting better. good sleep. sangat best. sangat nyenyak. sebab siang sangat penat kot.

despite those very comfy sleeps, i have a few things in mind that i need to decide. cekya selalu cakap malas nak fikir but i will. owh i definitely will. it lingers and lingers. i hope that i shall make a decision yang tepat. what's best for me is the most important. sometimes, nak consider orang lain pun, will be wasted.



#i miss them so very much. i see them occasionally, but it was not like before. it will never be.#

this weekend, i get to rest and complete some uploadings of some photos in our website. lovely!


#they have the BEST chocolate department. heaven!#

have a rosey weekend, guys!

oh! i'm head over heels with this song, by afghan. terima kasih, cinta...eh awan, for embedding it in your blog.

Tersadar didalam sepiku
Setelah jauh melangkah
Cahaya kasihmu menuntunku
Kembali dalam dekap tanganmu

Terima kasih cinta untuk segalanya
Kau berikan lagi kesempatan itu
Tak akan terulang lagi
Semuaa kesalahanku yang pernah menyakitimu

Tanpamu tiada berarti
Tak mampu lagi berdiri
Cahaya kasihmu menuntunku
Kembali dalam dekapan tanganmu

Terima kasih cinta untuk segalanya
Kau berikan lagi kesempatan itu
Tak akan terulang lagi
Semuaa kesalahanku yang pernah menyakitimu

Terima kasih cinta untuk segalanya
Kau berikan lagi kesempatan itu
Tak akan terulang lagi
Semua kesalahanku
Kesalahanku yang pernah menyakitimu

love, cekya.

being remembered.

salam!
it's been 2 weeks since i last saw him on stage. musly ramlee. playing THE role. and all of the dances, makes me wanna go up the stage and dance as well! the steps, the synchronization. it's simply remarkable.

tapi, one part of the musical, is somewhat similar with me. p ramlee wondered about the future. whether he will be remembered. and how.

i always think of it, all the time. i wondered how people would accept my departure. how people would think of me. would i be remembered. would people laugh at my antics, my habits, my beings.

would i be remembered, and would they talk about me? but how? what about?
i'm getting ridiculous, maybe.

till later friends.

love, cekya.

i'm a rose-petal-covered lady...

Paul Smith "Rose" a new fragrance for Women

Thursday 2 August 2007

Fresh. Modern. Airy. Individual. Addictive. Sensual. Not words you’d automatically associate with a rose fragrance. But the moment you mist Paul Smith Rose, you abandon all preconceptions. Because Paul Smith brings to this fragrance his signature skill – an instinctive knack of redefining the classics, introducing an unmistakable note of edgy elegance. This is, quite simply, a rose fragrance for a new generation.

It’s also infused with a personal story. The rose at the heart of this fragrance is one that bears his name. “My wife, Pauline, created a wonderful birthday gift - a rose cultivated specially for me. This proved to be an inspiration for the fragrance,” says Paul.

The Paul Smith Rose, a potently fragrant, cochineal pink bloom, with a tight peony centre and full outer flower, rambles and scrambles all summer long. Cultivated by the famous English botanist, Peter Beales, it was presented for the first time at the Chelsea Flower Show in 2006, after three years in development.

What’s more, a very modern technique has been used to capture its distinctive aroma. No blooms are harvested, crushed and distilled. Using technology called ScentTrek, the living flower is isolated in a glass bell and special equipment ‘inhales’ the scent molecules, which are then analysed and recreated in a laboratory. The resulting ‘note’ replicates exactly the scent of the rose as it nods and shakes its head in the breeze on a summer’s day – one of the reason’s this fragrance is so natural, authentic and spirit-liftingly fresh.

Antoine Maisondieu, the perfumer who worked with Paul on its creation explains: “I wanted to combine an airy quality with a soft, velvety feeling on the skin. I blended Paul Smith ScentTrek with Turkish rose oil and green tea, adding a sparking halo of violet and magnolia flowers. A woody accord, with touches of clear cedar, provides depth and structure, which along with soft musks, give it an addictive quality.”

The bottle and packaging are unexpected too.
“We wanted to turn the typical presentation of a rose fragrance on its head,” declares Creative Director, Alan Aboud. “To contrast with the petal-lightness of the fragrance, we designed a heavy glass bottle with a strong, functional shape. The thick, deep bottom fills the hand with reassuring weight - the juice then appears to float inside like a teardrop,” he explains.

“It’s topped off with an art deco inspired metal cap that feels quite industrial – almost masculine – in nature and each one is individually tooled, adding to a genuine feeling of craftsmanship. There’s certainly nothing ‘disposable’ about this bottle,” he says. Nor the soft cotton pouch featuring an exclusive Paul Smith rose print that hides the bottle within the box.

The logo – black and punchy - contrasts with the feminine, candy tones of the single rose stem on the outer packaging - a photo of the Paul Smith Rose itself, pushed so only the high contrast extremes of the image are visible.

To complement the eau de parfum in 50 and 100 mls, there’s a 150ml Perfumed Body Lotion and Bath and Shower Gel – dewy, delicious and delightfully different. Reminiscent of a rain shower on rose petals.

p/s : Felt like i'm showered with rose petals today. Huhuhu!

their wedding...

salam all...

some photos of the wedding. will update more later!

emmm...

salam!

weekend was over the top. the weddings went well, alhamdulillah. but resulted with me having muscle pains for both thighs. tired? yeah! satisfied. belum puas lagi... hehe..

both couples were an enjoyable lot. and i just hope these feelings of enjoying photo session will remain.

take care dear friends!

for wedding photos viewing, please visit http://exquisimages.fotopages.com.

love, cekya.

twiddle dee!

salam!

may's gonna be a tiring month, which i look forward too. but can't stop thinking about the events that has been lined up for me and the team. it's mind boggling and making me nervous!

just for me, a quick mental note;

3rd may - wedding dinner reception @ dewan perdana felda
4th may - wedding reception @ ulu langat, outdoor shoot @ putrajaya
10th may - engagement @ dengkil
14th & 16th may - event @ impiana hotel
23rd, 24th, 31st may & 7th june - my brother's wedding
8th june - birthday party @ kelana mahkota

i'm drained. adeh!

office is getting ridiculous. with work, the people. rasa macam apa ntah. rasanya resolution untuk datang awal early this year, tak mendatangkan hasil. demotivated. macam nih agaknya rasa demotivated. sigh!

i need multivitamins.

love, cekya.

walimatul urus...

salam..

would like to invite all of you to my brother's wedding,

on the 31st of May 2008, 12pm - 4pm.

love, cekya.

a little update...

salam...

firstly, i wanna say thanx to all the well wishers. and also all the doas. thank you so much for praying for the little girls, as well as doas for my arwah auntie.

here are some pictures of the girls, taken 2 days ago, at pantai medical center.

here's ira...she's the active one. jalan ke sana ke mari...


and this is ika. she's still in bed, tak dapat bangun sangat coz her left wrist & arms patah.


and this is my little mai. she's so cheeky. pandai bebel2!


again, thanx for all the doas, friends.

wassalam.
love, cekya.

aku, mereka dan flu.

sneeze-sneeze here,

sneeze-sneeze there,

sneeze here,

sneeze there,

everywhere sneeze-sneeze!

lagu di atas, ditujukan pada wtl & biah, and to me too. sila nyanyi ikut tempo lagu paling lama berada di carta time kita kecik dulu - old mcdonald. huhuhu!

her day...

oh oww sheila!

i was just speechless. mesmerised, to be precise.















i had the best lunch ever, and i just ate a little coz of my sorethroat & flu.

multinational handbag!

an american brand...
a korean product...
a hot selling item in malaysia...

i just had to buy it. huhuhuhu!

being remembered.

salam.

it was amazing. felt like jumping up the stage and just follow their dancing steps. truly amazing.


tapi. satu lagi yang sangat-sangat similar dengan apa yang ada dalam fikiran cekya, p ramlee was so critical of what and how he would be remembered.

i always think of what people would feel if i'm no longer alive. how would i be remembered. would they be grieving. or laugh at my antics, when remembered. if remembered. or talk about my habits and stuff, when remembered. if remembered.

p ramlee had his tough time with the media. with public, when all the glamours and glitters were fading.

and i'll always cry after visualising all that.
because. macam selalu.
manusia, akan selalu diingati, and appreciated, when they are no longer alive, to watch and listen.
no longer breathing, to know that they are appreciated.
that's a bit too late. don't you think?

sad but true.

love, cekya.

exhausting weekend, ladies & gentlemen!

yowww peopleee!

did you guys know that weekend has another meaning. exhaustion. i was so tired, all i think was my bed, sleep and the air-conditioner. and it was fuming hot too. i had a majlis cukur jambul to shoot on saturday. we were there from 10am to 2pm. it was this little angel's day, eizatt mohd jasni. he's a premature baby born on the 35th week but he's just so strong. welcome, baby eizatt!

when we came back, i had a little discussion on www.exquisimages.com with kak yati & awan. we have finalised on certain things to be implemented in the website.
then i just go straigth to my room and zzzz, while kak yati was trying to download ps i love you. hehehe....then came the other girls for my family's monthly tahlil. here's a photo took by kak yati of us. macam gile jek. memang crazy pun. but not crazylogicpopstar seperti rene, okay!

and on sunday, i brought my mom shopping @ klcc. she needed to find a pair of shoes for my brother's reception @ saloma bistro. and i bought this dinner pouch for the event. dapat juga akhirnya. it's just so practical, i can like hang it on my wrist and it'll be easier for me to hold my camera. huhuhu!

and i bought 2 t-shirts for alfie. hehehe...

sekian saja, cerita weekend yang double P > panas & penat. hikhikhik!

love, cekya.

pulak?!

aku pelik, kenapa kau carik pasal dengan aku. kau sendiri kata tak mungkin mahu hubungi aku lagi. ni kau hantar pesan di yahoo! pada aku, maki-maki sebab aku lambat jawab pertanyaan kau.

pulak?!

takpelah. terima kasih. manis bunyi makian2 kau tu. sweet like chocolate. bak alunan gamelan.
oh ya. tak perlu msg aku lagi. kau dlm ignore list.

friends, click to this song. memang best!

cop mohor.

malam tadi, aku menahan marah. sakit bercampur marah. tak ada rasa yang lebih pedih dari itu. aku tak dapat menyalahkan sesiapa, waima diri sendiri. ianya kemalangan.

tapi bila ada yang menyalahkan aku atas kemalangan yang membakar itu, aku rasa, pedih itu lebih dari rasa pedih. sakitnya, aku yang rasa. untuk apa menambah lagi rasa perit yang aku rasa. nasib baik tak perlu ke tahap operasi memindahkan kulit peha ke bahagian yang terbakar. hik! hik! semestinya bukan kecederaan terbakar tahap ke 3.

aku sensitif? terlalu sensitif? atau aku sebenarnya sudah tidak tahan dilayan sambil lewa. bosan hanyak berdiam tanpa protes.

tapi, kalau protes, aku akan dicop. kurang ajar. melawan. haih!

takpelah. terbakar sikit aje. peratusan keluasan kawasan kulit kau luas, cekya. tak perlu risau. hahahaha! oh pedih!

bertambah satu lagi cop mohor di tangan akibat hot glue gun. huk! huk!

all of us....

i guess it was the longest hour spent with the blogsahabats. everyone was there, except our beloved singaporean ladies. we missed you guys!

wanna see more? go to blogsahabats yahoo group. and click the photos section.

untuk apa tangisan...

at last, the long awaited tears has finally arrived. mata kiri cekya gerak, dah almost 3 weeks. i always believe that when your muscles below your right eye moves, you're gonna laugh your heart out.. and if it's on your left eye, you're gonna cry your eyeballs out. and it happened, everytime, without fail.

tonite, the tears are all about regret. how i regret letting both of us leave the relationship. how i was not convinced of his words and how i was not confident of myself. how i betrayed my own feelings. my heart, my soul. it's been 10 years since we first said hi. how i wished i could turn back time. yeah, it sounds bloody cliched but heck, i truly wished, if i close my eyes and went back to that pleasant afternoon when we first said our introductions.

the time when he patiently consoled me after a heated argument with my mom.

the time when he told me about his old but strong atok, marrying a young beautiful indonesian lady, and we were giggling about it like little kids.

the time when i left malaysia, saying that he can't wait for me to come back.

the time when i was studying in my room at marley's hall, essex, with a cuppa coffee, and he surprised me with a call and said that he misses my nagging, and told me to study 'betul-betul'.

the time when i came back and he wanted to tie the knot.

the time that i did not agree.

the time when he left, saying that i have played an act all along, and that i was not sincere.


the time when i cried and told him that's all not true.

how it broke my heart.

it still is.

sedap yang bisa.
uh!

cantik yang sedap.
ah!

memang ada ya.
buruk yang cantik.

it's all grainy.
dusty. gray. dark.
i'm alone and shattered.
i want to believe.
that a light will appear.
somewhere.
somehow.

we're even!

A-Me-Lin

I smiled at her today.

She was curious.

But why?

Weird.

ahad lalu...