should i, or should i not...none of 'em IS a question..

salam...

it's approximately 6.40pm.

still in the office. had a wonderful time laughing away dengan cek kak ni on how our latest employer's doing. hehehehe....i HAVE to get off the phone with her sebab we can't stopp laughing, that's for sure. oh danny, you'll be laughing your heads out if you listen to us merepek-ing away...hahaha...ops!sorry boss!

anyways, there's a little corner in my mind is thinking about something. it's rather annoying and it's making me feel guilty.

the scenario.
i have had a friend, who clearly insulted me right on my face a few months ago. i wrote it here, apparently. maybe you guys have forgotten all about it. cekya sendiri dah lupa bila and i wouldn't wanna selongkar my archive and search for something that i hated so much, at that time.

that person is back. at first, i was being ok with it. meeting up with him. helping him out on certain things. tapi bila dah lama, i kept saying to myself, why am i doing all these? why am i helping him out? what's the matter with me? i was mad and clearly, i was down, devastated and lost all of my self-esteem. i cried for few days, being hurt and all.

tapi sekarang, i'm treating him like he has not done anything THAT bad. as if he did not hurt me in any possible ways. sebesar kuman pun takde. cekya treat dia seolah macam dia seorang yang teramat baik dan seolah cekya dah berhutang dengan dia and i'm treating him good in return. deng!

and now, i felt like i wanna back off. stop calling and receiving calls, sms, or any other means. tak tahu kenapa, cekya tiba-tiba rasa benci. i'm pretty sure i'm not on PMS. huh! maybe i felt like i'm being used. he's clearly at a very difficult state right now, with job, life and all. and siapa yang dia carik time susah? yeap! correct! - yours truly.

there are a few friends who knows about that person and they insisted me to leave, let him be on his own. being me, cekya tolong wherever i can. but after a few weeks, cekya rasa menyampah dan benci. tak tahulah kenapa. cekya tak nak if one day, bila dah tak tahan, i'll just burst out my feelings to him. that would be hurtful to him. and me as well, as i know, the feelings of being treated that way, the way he did it to me.

i guess i'll just keep quiet. i wouldn't wanna tell him off. it's cruel. i'll just keep it to myself. i wouldn't wanna see the face and the voice of the person who have said cruel words to me. it's not fair, kan? not fair to me.

wassalam

p/s : please, tell me, what i'm doing, is right. kalau nak ikutkan kata puteri gunung ledang,"apa yang aku buat ini, sudah betul..."..hm..but i'm no princess...:(

peterpan ~ bintang di surga
...good music...
...good lyric...
'twas worth it...;)

p/s : terima kasih kawan-kawan, kerana meracun untuk beli this cd!hikhikhik...;)

hujan panas.....

salam....

i'm weak this morning. encik asthma came and attacked me. cruel! it's monday morning babe! why can't you just stay off me. hukhukhuk...

anyways, my weekend was full with good movies(i do think they are good...). on saturday, it was ocean's eleven. i know. old movie. but didn't know about it till i watched ocean's twelve. duh! one word for the movie - smooth!hehehe....

and sunday morning, i took the effort(muahahha....the nite before was raining and it was still raining when i woke up that morning!) to get up from my cozy bed, clean myself and head for klcc. i was curious and wanted to know what's so special about this yasmin ahmad's movie. as zuril told me, it was 'something'.

sepet - love story, a sad one...:(
indeed, sepet was something. something different. everything's different. the shots, the storyline, the casts, the languages, everything. and i still have my tears when i walked out from the cinema while sms-ing my dearest sis, zuril. filem ni begitu terkesan sekali pada cekya. entah kenapa. mungkin it was presented in a most sincere way. seikhlas hati yasmin ahmad. watch it. cekya tak pandai nak review on this movie but i'm sure there are alot of it in other blogs. and i don't mind watching is over and over again. ;)

then, i came back, watched wimbledon, starring paul bettany(truly love this guy in a knight's tale!!) and kirsten dunst. the british accent...love it!!the movie was mentioned by an ex-friend who likes the movie, so i bought it last friday. best cerita ni. tennis & love mashed well in the movie...;) no wonder i like it so much, it's from the film makers of bridget jones & notting hill...hehehe...

gotta go. lotsa stuff to do. later!it's a wrap, guys!;)

wassalam...

p/s: something wrong with fotopages and i'm uploading my pics using bloggerbot@hello. not a friendly tool but gotta use 'em for the time being...

potong kepala.....kepala otak kau......

salam...

tajuk di atas tak ada kena mengena dengan posting ni. boss cekya yang type tu. eisk! dia tak bagi delete. kalau tak, increment kensel! adeh!

he goes,"jap lagi saya check, kalu tak ada kat goblog awak nih, jaga!"

hahaha....tepuk dahi betul la boss ku nan seorang ini. dia panggil blog nih goblog!bahasa indon, goblog nih maknanya buduh@kurang cerdik. eisk!!

anyways, sejak posting pasal the canon that i wanted so much, i just realised that i've been ignoring my passions for reading and also pics snapping. it has been a while! kat fotopage pun dah jarang upload gambar. what happened to you, gurl!!

books i bought a week back pun tak habis baca. usually, i'll just take a whole day to finish a book. napa ek? uhh takleh jadi. gotta find places to capture and finish up the book!

till later!daa!

wassalam.

p/s : petang satgi pi makan-makan dengan my colleagues. i'll be checking out the elle watch i've been eyeing since...3 months back. never had a watch since i started working in 2000!huhuhu...;)

mari menabung...

salam...

kelmarin, pi klcc sebab ada officemate cekya ajak pi tea(konon!) kat secret recipe. sambil lenggang kangkung depan kedai canon;

member : eeiii...bestnyer!geram tengok camera tu!
cekya : a'ah memang ah. saya pun nak beli nih. tengah kumpul duit.
member : iyea? satu hari simpan berapa sen? 10 sen? *sambil gelak-gelak perli*
cekya : a'ah. itu jek mampu.
member : simpan dalam tabung yek?
cekya : a'ah. tabung babi.

*gelak*gelak*gelak*

dalam hati? eisk. sabar ajelah. tahu la her pay is triple my pay. takkan mampu la kan sampai kena menabung. aku yg overly sensitive or it's her being insensitive. or maybe it is her. her way of saying things. being gemini, the 'sarcastic effect' is there, the way of talking, laughing, or even getting pissed off. sorry la orang-orang gemini. it's not a good trait and i had to say it. hikhikhik...
anyway, this is the camera i really wanted.;


canon powershot s1 IS
entah bila la...huhuhuh...anybody care to gimme as a present of a lifetime? lepas ni, takyah bagi hadiah seumur hidup. retail price tak ingat but RM1k plus. anyone?

later guys!

wassalam...;)

owh i'm mad!

*salam...please forgive me as this posting would contain VERY harsh wordings and it's just so not me. i'm just so pissed off, so whadda *tooot*! heh...i've started it!*

i have never talked and write about blogging. i mean the impact of me, us, writing and merepek in blogs@online diary@journal, my opinion on how it is actually exposed to the virtual world, having strangers reading upon your smallest chores and your deepest feelings.

i love writing. be it in english, in bahasa melayu. i adore both. and the fact that i'm actually spending most of my times with myself, i tend to do a singular kinda participation thingy. photography. writing. reading. acara perseorangan la kiranya ni. and it's my life. i'm comfy. macam OP cakap, yang penting, diri kita sendiri. who am i if i wish to be someone else. if i wanna pretend. to be liked. to be accepted. walaupun i don't have a long list of names in my contacts, i do feel rather happy in my circle of friends. though it's small, i'm thankful.

but the fact that someone, who have commented that writing online and having others read your babbling is a waste and one should get A LIFE if they did, really pissed me off! at that moment, all i can do was istighfar coz if i don't calm myself, he'll get the "BEST" out of me. it's like a rythm to me ears after he said;

"WHOT??an online diary?get a life la...and go get yourself a boyfriend for that matter.."

i mean, how mean is that?? *tooot*, man! whadda *tooot*! people have different ways filling up their times. suka aku la nak terbalik ke, tertonggeng ke, masuk dalam monitor ke macam dalam iklan johnson's tu ke. it's my freaking life though you claimed i don't have any!!urghh marah betul la! what is freaking wrong with blogging. i blog because i find it is difficult to talk to people like him and unfortunately, i do have a whole bunch of them around me. *tooot*! and i blog because i always love putting my heart and soul to what i write. i can express myself freely. i can be angry. be happy. be annoyed. anything. and i will not bother other people with bags of my problems. i have the blog. means, in a way, i will not hurt other people's feelings with my big mouth. and i told him;

"huh oh!that's something cruel to say. i'm hurt!"

and this person go,"owh ok. sorry. you know me. i'm the kinda person who speaks out my mind.."

ahah!idiotic mind. insensitive creature. can't this people at least THINK before they speak. don't go *tooot* me with "you gotta accept me for what i am..bla..bla..bla". the attitude is just unacceptable. change it dude! tak ada ruginya. tak boleh ke, for half a second, be nice to other people. tak baik buat gitu. when he said all that, makes me think of all of my blog friends. all of them have very very good writing skills, creative people and i love hanging out at their blogs, reading their daily ramblings, poems and also complaints like i'm doing now. i feel at ease when i read all of them. truly a stress reliever and also a good theraphy, at least to me.

and the fact that we got overwhelming supports from these virtual strangers when our emotions are not in a good condition, when our life is down there, is simply AMAZING!

YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING PEOPLE!*clap*clap*clap*clap*(standing ovation lagiks!)

p/s : huh leganya. cekya dah tak marah dah...hikhikhik...

later dude!

Artis : PETERPAN
Lagu : Mungkin Nanti

Saatnya ku berkata
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
Sudahlah lepaskan semua
Ku yakin inilah waktunya

Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi

Dan mungkin bila nanti
Kita kan bertemu lagi
Satu pintaku jangan
Kau coba tanyakan kembali
Rasa yang ku tinggal mati
Seperti hari kelmarin
Saat semua di sini

Dan bila hatimu termenung
Bangun dari mimpi - mimpimu
Membuka hatimu yang dulu
Cerita saat bersamaku

Tak usah kau tanyakan lagi
Simpan saja untukmu sendiri
Semua sayang yang kau cari
Semua rasa yang kau beri

falling apart..

salam....

pagi tadi masa siap-siap nak pi office, i tuned to ERA. topic pagi ni was rather serious. konflik keluarga. cekya rasa, semua families dalam dunia ni, ada their own problems. i do face these kinda conflicts. i might not discuss the problems but what’s the impact to me, as a daughter to my family, as a person to my friends and society.

it’s hard having a few personalities in one’s life. changing moods, tukar cara senyum, having to laugh sincerely while some problems still hanging in your mind. pretending? tak juga. i need the happy boost to ease myself. i need to laugh..having a split personality is indeed a mental disorder. but having it under control might be another thing. i’m thankful that i still have Allah to guide me.

i’m not the type to tell, solve and let go. i prefer to keep it to myself. i’ve never discussed any of the conflicts i faced with my family. yeah, i do tell them the surface of it. not in depth though. it would make me sad and devastated. i don’t really want that. i wanna laugh. i wanna chill. a friend said that, initially, he knew me being hanky panky(aiyoh…!) but deep inside, i’m something else. macam dr jekyl & ms hyde. bila dia buat statement macam tu, terasa benar cekya. teruk sangat ke aku? hehehehe…

kat rumah, i’m this very reserve and quiet lady. i prefer to sit in my room, read materials, experimenting with my camera or tido. boleh dikira berapa kali i talk to my family in a day. kalau working days, memang tak bercakap langsung la. boleh dikira dengan jari berapa patah perkataan yang cekya sebut. ada yang cakap i’m the one yang put a gap between myself dengan family. mungkin! tapi i’ve tried a few things tapi tak menjadi. being the only girl really makes me a loner. i guess kesan dari the conflicts yang membuatkan cekya reacted this way.

but with my friends, i’m this joyous, happy-happy and hantu ketawa. pendek kata, i’m a totally different person. cekya cuba untuk jadi macam tu kat rumah tapi memang rasa tak kena. tak seswaiiii!!!

apa pun, at the moment, i’m comfy. i’ll just be and act whichever i want, depending on the situation. orang lain lebih perlu rasa gembira dan selesa dengan cekya. not me. insya-Allah, i’ll adapt.

wassalam

p/s : kiranya peribahasa “masuk kandang lembu, menguak…masuk kandang kambing, mengembek” boleh pakai la dalam situation cekya nih ek?hehehe

soalnya kenapa?

ya kenapa?
kenapa aku perlu menjadi dia
dalam masa sama
menjadi aku juga
kenapa perlu aku menongkah arus
sedang aku masih senang menjadi aku
maksudnya kenapa?
perlu untuk mengubah
sesuatu yang bukan aku
semata kerna mengekor gerakmu
aku masih mahu jadi aku
dan bukan orang lain
usah paksa
aku tak suka

cekya
6:31pm
22/02/05

sick & warm weekend!

salam...

one word to describe my weekend. HOT!
nope not that passionate hot. it's heat hot. hehehe...
and to add things up, i've got diarrhoea! and we had to go to muar on sunday tu coz my cousin's son's wedding. it's just so hard to control myself not to move so much in the car. takmo la susahkan orang ek. huhuhu....
sampai jek rumah mak long, pi singgah toilet, do my necessaries(sila jangan ketawa!) and straight to my cousin's house which is 2 houses away.. we had beriani gam. best woo...but i can't take THAT much sebab sistem pencernaan tengah down, so i guess i have to take food in small portions. but these 2 girls below is having fun eating everything up!

lapar betul ika and ira's having a fun time with the oranges!

lepas makan, cekya masuk rumah and took some pics. took some on the dais and also bilik pengantin. i'll upload it later.

stuff on the dais.

you guys nampak tak mangkuk penuh sweets tu? besides acara tepung tawar, there'll will be an event where both pengantin will err...campak the sweets to guests yang duduk ramai-ramai depan pelamin. dalam mangkuk tu jugak ada duit syiling, dari 10 sen sampai ke 50 sen. maybe sekarang dah naik syiling seringgit kot! anyway, meriah sangat masa tu. terpekik-pekik berebut. jangan kata budak, mak budak pun sama. berebutkan duit syiling!! hahaha...memang kelakar tengok gelagat diorang. unfortunately, when pengantin atas pelamin, cekya atas katil kat rumah mak long sebab perut sakit. uwaaa....

anyway, sakit perut dah ok. tak ada lagi tripSSS to the toilet. alhamdulillah. i had fun being around my family. cuma the weather tak berapa membolehkan kitorang beramas mesra dengan lebih lanjut sebab semua dok sibuk minum air and prefer to stay put so tak ada la berpeluh sangat. kalu tak, melengas wooo...hehehe....

oh yeah. met my cousin. we both agreed that zainal alam kadir of wayang kita@ astro ria IS comel. in his own way. hikhikhik....

wassalam...

p/s : had this conversation with ika;

ika : eii....auntie sue!!tu ulat apa??tapi dah mati la auntie sue!
me : owh....tu ulat gonggok.
(ika kuis-kuis ulat tu dengan ranting kayu)
ika : owh....ulang BONGGOK.
me : bukan bonggok la. GONGGOK!
ika : GOOONGGOK.
me : haa..pandai.

petang tadi...

salam...

lepas office, cekya singgah klcc. rasanya minggu ni, 4 kali dah pi klcc. cemuihh aku!hahahah....well pergi pun ada reason. and this evening, pi sebab nak ke kedai jam. nak fix jam ayah cekya yang dah pecah cerminnya. jatuh masa kat kelantan minggu lepas. tengok-tengok, kedai tu tengah renovate. try juga tanya kedai jam lain tapi tak boleh buat. so to make the journey of my high heels to be worth the trip, i went to tower records and buy this old cd >>

it's the corrs' talk on corners. dulu cekya ada cassettes dia tapi dah ke mana. masa tu study lagik. maybe dah di-kidnap olah adik cekya yang suka bagi barang-barang cekya kat kawan-kawan dia(bak kata sadiq segaraga,"ko nak bagi zakat tu harta kao ka harta akuuuu....") muahahahahahhaha....

lepas tu, cekya singgah plak secret recipe. beli choc banana cake. ugh sedapnyerr....dah 3 hari teringin tapi tak terbeli. kaki nih rasa berattt jek tapi hari ni, dapat gak la makan. beli satu untuk mak cekya tapi bila cekya sampai rumah, pipi dia tembam sebelah. hikhikhikhik.... wisdom tooth! sakit gigi la tu. huhuhu...aiks ibuku... umur sudah 50++++, baru nak tumbuh wisdom tooth?? arrival delay ke?hahahha...jahatnya anak daranya nan seorang ini....hahahha...nampaknya, duduk dalam fridge la cake tu...

oklah....below is one of the song yang cekya suka dalam 'talk on corners' ni >>

Only When I SleepMusic: The Corrs, Oliver Leiber, Paul Peterson, John Shanks
Lyrics: Andrea Corr
Transcript: www.corrsonline.com

You're only just a dreamboat
Sailing in my head
You swim my secret oceans
Of coral blue and red
Your smell is incense burning
Your touch is silken yet
It reaches through my skin
And moving from within
It clutches at my breast

But it's only when I sleep
See you in my dreams
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe

Somewhere in my sleep
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But its only when I sleep

And when I wake from slumber
Your shadow's disappear
Your breath is just a sea mist
Surrounding my body
I'm workin' through the daytime
But when it's time to rest
I'm lying in my bed
Listening to my breath
Falling from the edge

But it's only when I sleep
See you in my dreams, (dreams)
You got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But I only hear you breathe
Somewhere in my sleep, (in my sleep)
Got me spinning round and round
Turning upside-down
But its only when I sleep
It's only when I sleep

and da..da..da..da....heheh....berjela lagu ni but i just love the corrs ah...heheh..eikk...it's gonna be 11pm any minute now. i'm off for now. take care and sleep tight guys!
wassalam...

it's true!

salam...

wah!wah!wah!it's friday! tapi cekya rasa minggu ni lama. lama sangat nak sampai ke hujung minggu. napa eh?

semalam, cekya sampai jek rumah around 8pm, terus tempek vicks vapour rub kat hidung, dada, err..hikhikhik...huh rasa warm and very comfy. kat luar baru nak hujan. cekya baring, kononnya kejap je. dan terlelap lah tuan puteri hidung sumbat nih. tiba-tiba cekya dengar mak ketuk pintu. dia suruh tutup lampu kalau nak tido, not to waste electricity. cekya pun terpisat-pisat(errr..nih bahasa buku, tatau kalu, rujuk kamus..hikhikhik), bangun nak tukar baju tido. tengok jam..punya la segar mata bila tengok jam kat hp cekya..12:30pagi beb!!! gila punya pengsan! adeh la...padahal keje bukannya banyak kat office.

so i cleaned up myself, pi dapur, nampak ada mihun goreng, bancuh air and duduk depan tv. lapar wooo.. seharian makan biskut jek. tak selera dowh!hikhikhik...so dok tengok tv, documentary,"breaking the silence - our son, micheal jackson". pasal the allegations on jacko and what his parents have got to say pasal that issue and commenting on his behaviour as a son, a person. his parents claimed that they've given all the love and didik anak-anak diorang based on good values. they know micheal and diorang yakin, mikey wouldn't do such a thing. apa pun, MJ pernah buat statement yang ayah dia dera dia and his siblings. tapi ayah dia kata he just wanna teach and protect them from people on the streets. fine.

apa yang dalam kepala cekya malam semalam, bukannya persoalan whether the allegations were true. whether betul the king of pop did those things. tapi statement yang diberi oleh parents dia. pada cekya, soal didikan ibu bapa tu, memang la, mana ada parents yang nak anak dia jadik jahat. i'm sure kita semua dah dididik with good values, adab supaya akhlak kita baik. itu tanggungjawab mak ayah kita. tapi things happen around us. dan terpulang pada KITA untuk buat keputusan based on our parents' guidance dan kewarasan seorang manusia.

cekya bukan nak cakap pasal the allegations or buat tuduhan kata abang hidung yang mancung tiba-tiba ni, (and yet still denies bila orang tanya kalau dia ada buat operation on his face. dia cakap it's the real him. process pembesaran menjadi seorang adult. adeh! cekya tak ada plak putih cam dia bila dah adult nih...muahahha....) tapi tentang how we react towards any situation mengikut kematangan kita. apa yang cekya nak cakap kat sini adalah, walau macam mana pun cara didikan mak ayah kita, kita masih punya akal untuk berfikir dan membezakan mana yang baik, mana yang buruk. itu membezakan kita dengan haiwan.

akal yang dianugerahkan oleh Allah Ta'ala. so sendiri mau ingat lah...ramai teenagers sekarang blame on their parents for all of their behaviour. ada juga yang puji, macam akak penyanyi kita yang kena tangkap kat zouk. hahahah....buruk atau baik didikan, kita wajib tahu apa yang buruk dan apa yang baik. it's common sense. kalau still nak be ignorant, tak tahu lah cekya! bukan nak kata cekya ni baik sangat but alhamdulillah, setakat ni masih tahu mana yang elok dan tak elok..

eisk..sungguh serious sekali posting hari ni. huhuhu...take care my darling readers!

wassalam...

p/s : kalau orang kata terjun perigi, pastu kalau tak mati, duduk dalam tu sampai mati, kita nak buat ke?

semuanya bagaikan sebuah mimpi...

semalam;

cekya : ma, semalam birthday anuar zain tau..
mama : oh iyea? sebab tu la balik lambat semalam yea?
cekya : huh?(silence)...a'ah pi celebrate!
mama : kat mana?
cekya : klcc..
mama : ohhh..(dengan muka selamba as if it was true!)

hahahha...melayan betul mak cekya nih ek? happy belated birthday abang nuar!love you!;)

daaa!

why me?

salam...

hello everybarney!!hehehe....ika suka cakap "hello everybarney!!!"...kira kitorang semua ni dia punya barney la...hahah..sabo ajelah!

anyways, my flu is still intact. tak tahu la bila buleh baik. patutnya dah ok but i cried last nite which makes it worst.

pelik cekya. lately, ramai sungguh orang-orang dari zaman silam cekya muncul semula. kenapa ya? kecik hati cekya. people take me for granted. they'll go when they have found someone else yang diorang rasa boleh buat diorang happy. but they turn to me when they're not happy with their lives. kenapa?

kenapa perlu ada rindu bila dulunya, sikit pun tak pernah dia ingat pada cekya.
kenapa perlu ingat the sweet memories, bila dia dah guriskan hati cekya.
kenapa perlu nak contact cekya semula sedangkan dia buat buduh jek bila cekya bagai call dia dulu.
kenapa nak kena ingat cekya lagi bila semuanya dah tak ada guna lagik.
kenapa perlu sesal sedangkan itu semua pilihan dia. keputusan dia.
cekya terbiar macam tu aje.

segala updates tentang dia, cekya dapat dari orang lain. kenapa perlu sekarang, dia datang semula. cekya macam tak caya bila dapat sms dari dia malam semalam. cekya reply, mengatakan mungkin dia tersilap hantar sms. and dia reply, i'm the one he's looking for. memang dia sms cekya pun.

sudahlah tak sihat. cekya terus masuk bilik dan baring. rasa sebak betul. menangis, sampai terlelap. sedar-sedar, tepat pukul 6 pagi. lampu masih menyala. kepala berdenyut. rasa sebak datang lagi. sampai hati kawan-kawan buat cekya macam ni. sampainya hati!

sampai bilalah nasib cekya macam ni. pattern life cekya sama saja. balik-balik gitu. kenapa perlu buat cekya macam tu? apa salah cekya pada orang-orang ni?

wassalam

p/s : cekya masih lagi terpinga-pinga. betul ke dia yang sms semalam.

being miss 'v'...

salam...

semalam, penuh dengan flowers kat klcc. everywhere, couples are holding each other. the lady would hug a bouquet of red roses. paling cikai pun a pink paper bag. me? i was there to give some stuff i bought in kelantan for a friend. not to celebrate the 'v' day. i don't, in fact. i guess every single day is the day to always always remember your loved ones. why do you have to wait for it, once a year. a surprise of a big bouquet of flower on any other day would make it more meaningful i guess.

oh yeah...kelantan trip report eh. huhuhu...alo tatot...sowwy i can't find the time to boh the full report about my visit to your DEAREST hometown. huh? tak ngaku? chettt!!!!

09/02/05
bertolak around 8. the journey was ok. jalan clear. maybe it was still early. we accidentally took the wrong route. sepatutnya ikut kuala lipis tapi disebabkan ketidakpastian ayah cekya dan ke'slow'an mak cekya menengok map, kitorang terlepas ikut gua musang. tiba gua musang, we took lunch, masak lemak cili padi paling manis yang cekya pernah rasa. tu pasal oghe kelate nih manih-manih belaka..huhuhu! we arrived at kota bahru at about 5pm. 9 freaking hours in the car. cramppp wooo... sebab jalan jam kat kuala krai. tiba hotel, checked in and we rest till later that nite. no activities except for light dinner. too tired. takleh nak imagine kepenatan ayah cekya la. sedangkan kitorang yang duduk sandar jek nih pun letih yang amats, inikan pulak dia!

10/02/05


we had our breakfast at about 8. the food at the hotel was nice. tak larat nak makan banyak pun. still exhausted. then, terus pi membeli dan membelah with my mom kat pasar siti khadijah. rasanya, the price is more or less them same macam kat kl. seriously!! but anyway, we managed to get gifts for relatives, and friends and my mom, for her dear self. jenuh turun dari tingkat 3, bawak beg plastik banyak, sarat dengan barang. banyak sangat. bak kata my dad,"kita ni nak bukak kedai kat kl ke??". my mom jeling-jeling jek. hahaha...sabo je la ye...!


balik dari pasar, singgah PCB. makcik cekya teringin nak tengok pantai. it was quite far ler dari bandar. dekat tapi cekya yang rasa jauh. anyway, it rained masa we all lepak tepi pantai sambil minum air kelapa. besh woo...hehehe, along with rojak seafood.huhu...variety! after that, we checked out and head for kuala krai. a small town, not much of activity. we checked in kat motel, an old one, said to be the only place to stay. huhuhu...

malam tu, we went to masjid tengku muhammad fariz petra for the nikah. erk..betul ke nama masjid tu? ntah la cekya tak berapa sure sebab malam, gelap ah. hehehehe...mas kahwin diterima sebanyak rm4,000. alhamdulillah. anak sepupu cekya tu, is the same age as me. hehehe...dia dah selamat. mak sepupunya belum selamat lagi. tatau la bila akan diselamat dan terselamat. hahaha....!

11/02/05
breakfast was actually hard to find. semuanya nasi berlauk. so we just took hot drinks and off to pasar kuala krai. shopping lagik bondaku!adui la...then, lepas solat zuhur, around 3, we went for the reception. kemeriahan majlis kenduri kat sini is somewhat different. there were no dais, cuma bilik pengantin yang berhias. but the presence of family, friends and relatives membuatkan majlis diorang meriah eventhough it was quite far to get to the bride's house. i guess everybody made it to the wedding. suasan kampung, gotong royong sama-sama, to get things done. seronok. it's different from having weddings kat hotel. totally!


12/02/05
bertolak dari kuala krai at about 8. dan tiba rumah around 3pm. lebih cepat dari masa pergi. alhamdulillah sampai jugak. rasa bercinta betul dalam kereta. nak menunggu to reach home. cekya tido jek dalam kereta coz i have started having flu and all masa tu.

hmm..itu ajelah catatan ke kelantan. nothing special. sebab the main reason of going there is becoz of my nephew's wedding. anyways, insya-Allah, kalau panjang umur, i will always wanna go there again. tatot...apo laie..ajak la aku...huhuhu...

take care guys. wassalam.

flu day..

salam...

cekya tengah selesema sekarang. tak comfy sangat-sangat. nak upload gambo pun takde mood. emm...let it be lah...

p/s : terasa macam...hmm...ntahlah!jiwa kacau!

wassalam

huh rimas!

salam....

something bad..err..to me tak la teruk but maybe kalau cekya cerita terus-terusan kat sini, it might be bad..

anyways, i've gone bonkers. the smses i kept receiving from him is now a nuisance. rasa lemas betul. tak tahu la kenapa. kenapa hati cekya rasa macam tu. jenuh dah beristighfar, buang jauh-jauh rasa benci...sudah la dia sms tadi, kata cancer dia dah 'beranak pinak'...hmm...

dah le. tamau citer lagik. hmm semalam cekya ke klcc, i bought a digital photography book. best sangat. mengadap dari beli, sampai ke rumah. 500 tips, so puas membelek...;)

esok, me & my parents will be heading to kelantan. my cousin's son's majlis nikah. sambil tu my mom nak bershopping sekali.hehehe...sabo ajerlah..me?tolong shopping. tak ada budget untuk shopping coz the trip was such a short notice. kalau tak, boleh jugak simpan buat belanja. hehehe...and i hope, i'll be getting to snap as many pics as possible. tak sabar rasanya eh!!

today half day untuk warga office cekya. hahaha... staff chinese ada sorang, tapi punya poyo, sampai bagi half day ari ni...hehhehe...and we're off for makan besar, singles only. besh besh! we're going for indonesian food, somewhere in pandan. entah la. i'm not that familiar dengan kawasan kl nih. kawan bawak. teman dok sebelah jek. hehehe...

anyways, have a great holidays, jangan naughty ye.
wassalam!

p/s : 1st muharram, b'day cekya mengikut bulan Islam...usually, b'day ni, ayah cekya sorang jek ingat...hehe...kalu 1st disember-calendar omputih, petang sket baru ingat......hehehe...

hahaha....adui la!

salam...

hm...thanx anyway for all the support yang you all bagi kat cekya tentang case yang cekya posting semalam...cekya masih lagi tertanya, kenapa?

macam kawan cekya cakap, yes, people do all sh*tty things to us, but at some point, kita dapat memaafkan and we'll just forget, let go and act normal again. yes, i can let go, and i'll act normal tapi untuk melupakan apa yang dia buat, it's just so damn hard.

ada jugak yang cuba sakitkan hati cekya, mengusik kononnya i'm back with my old special someone...ceh! it's just so irritating! please la encik s***. takder mananya...nak cakap, cakaplah...i know how i feel and i'm well aware of my feelings towards orang tu. tak perlu la nak push me here and there. bila orang usik pasal kereta evo dia, marah pulak...eisk eisk....

petang ni, cekya nak redakan rasa, nak stop kejap fikir pasal semua ni and go jalan-jalan carik pasal @ klcc(again!)...nak survey jam...hehehe...

so, off i go guys..wassalam!

bersendirian...

salam....

ermm...cekya jarang mem-blog masa weekend. tapi rasanya banyak yang nak diceritakan sampai tak boleh tunggu hari isnin.

ingat lagi posting cekya nak jumpa teman lama. cekya keliru sekarang ni. being in a very difficult position! jumaat petang tu, kami bertemu di klcc. we had a very good conversation - tentang advertising, tentang government, tentang syarikat-syarikat besar yang reluctant untuk invest pada marketing products. hahaha...pelik ek?

then we moved on, talked about family. pendek kata, we discussed about EVERYTHING but not us. 'US' yang cekya maksudkan adalah relationship kami yang dah putus berbulan lamanya. tentang kata-kata saktinya yang membuatkan cekya berundur. dan cekya muncul kat klcc petang tu, just because cekya kesian pada dia. tubuhnya makin kurus, kesan dari cancer yang tengah baeeekkk dok menjalar dalam badan dia. sebak rasanya, Allah saja yang tahu!

tersepit antara kesian dan maruah diri. cekya kesian dengan keadaan penyakit dia dan cekya buang jauh-jauh maruah diri yang dah tercalar. adil ke benda ni pada cekya? cekya dah dibuang jauh, dan kini, dia datang semula. i don't mind being friends. and that's about it. tadi, we went out to survey a few stuff that i need to buy. siap bawak bunga. hish. makin pelik dah keadaan ni.

dulu, dia kata malu berkawan dengan cekya, segan nak bawak jumpa mak ayah.
sekarang, beria nak cekya pi rumah dia and have lunch with his family.

apa semua ni? cekya banyak berdiam sejak berjumpa dengan dia. berfikir. tertanya, dan kadangkala menitis airmata bila teringatkan those harsh words yang datang dari mulut dia. pedihnya, Allah saja yang tahu, cekya masih ingat lagi, berhari-hari cekya mengadu nasib in this blog.

dan hari ni, yang membuatkan cekya tambah sedih, was a false hope. i've been hoping for something that is promised to me. tapi hari ni. harapan semuanya berkecai. apa yang cekya angankan dan mimpikan, tak jadi kenyataan. i was a bit crushed. if there's nothing in for me, then say so. tak perlulah cekya mengharap. ini, dah sampai masa....nothing...:(

owh, it's such a not-so-good time for me. rasa lemas sangat. anyways, cekya terima ni semua as a part and partial of my life. redha dan sabar...:(

wassalam...

weekend...weekend...

salam...

i'll have a so-so weekend. ada tahlil. and i have plans for this evening. meeting up with an old friend. i guess i have to forget whatever bad things that had happen between us. malas dah nak fikir. and i'm gonna meet him as a long lost friend. no strings attached. don't wanna get so tight up with it. i remembered him saying nak jumpa cekya untuk "membaiki balik jambatan yang dah usang"...hmm....*garu dagu sket*.didn't know that we were a jambatan before...hehehe...

anyways, have fine weekend ladies and gentlemen...and by the way...ada sesiapa boleh bagi cadangan cemana nak dapatkan duit dalam rm3k dalam masa yang singkat? cekya dah tak tahan rasa lagi ni, nak beli gak digital camera SLR!uhuk....harap-harap, petang nih hujan. hujan duit...hehe...

wassalam

p/s: cekya tengah lagu...stand by me- ben e. king. besh plak...:D

When the night has come

And the land is dark

And the moon is the only light we'll see

No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh now now stand by me

Stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon

Should tumble and fall

And the mountains should crumble to the sea

I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear

Just as long as you stand, stand by me

so stand by me, guys...;)

i'm 21!

You Are 21 Years Old

21 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

woah....i'm 21 people...hehehe...*wink*

i've been missing you!

hanya kerana rasa sedih itu..

kiranya hidup ini satu layar yang luas
penuh warna warni
penuh dengan tangisan,gelak tawa dan harapan
penuh dengan kisah suka duka pelakon-pelakonnya
kiranya hidup ini satu perjudian
penuh dengan risiko-risiko yang datang bertalu
tanpa diundang
tanpa dipinta
tanpa kita mengetahui akhir cerita
khabar gembira,waima yang menyedihkan juga

segalanya bagai roda
kisah lalu akan berulang dan menjenguk kita pada setiap waktu
kisah lampau bakal melewati hari-hari kita
namun dengan corak dan tujuan yang berbeza
bakal mengimbau saat-saat yang pernah kita lalui
sebagai ingatan
bahawa kita juga pernah berada disitu
merasainya,melaluinya

kiranya pepatah hidup ini bagaikan roda ada benarnya
yang diatas akan ke bawah
dan yang dibawah akan berulang ke atas
membawa kenangan lama untuk dinilai baik buruknya
implikasinya pada kehidupan
kesannya pada hati dan jiwa

betapa kita mahu mengelak
walau kita mahu lari dari kisah sedih
ianya pasti datang semula
tapi kenapa kisah sedih?
kenapa cerita yang membuka luka lama?
mana perginya cerita manis yang dulu?
mana perginya kenangan yang sepatutnya memberi senyum?

adakah kita terlalu bersedih
hingga lupa bahawa roda tadi,ada manisnya
ada bunga-bunga indah yang menghias tiap detik waktu yang lalu
apa cacatnya dengan kenangan yang muluk?
kisah dulu-dulu yang membuai perasaan kita
perasaan dulu-dulu yang sering membuat hati tenang dan indah

sedarlah,bahawa cerita lama itu, ada yang indah
ada yang manis diingati
ada yang mencuit isi hati untuk tersenyum lagi
maka yang indah adalah untuk membuatkan kita gembira
dan yang sedih adalah bagai tongkat
yang bakal memimpin kita
yang akan mengajar kita
agar lebih tabah dan kuat
untuk menginjak kaki melepasi garisan
yang kita sendiri bina atas rasa kecewa

ini bukan saja ingatan untuk semua
tapi juga untuk diri sendiri
yang kadangkala menjadikan sedih
bagai tali yang mengikat hati
dari menjadi manusia yang tabah
dari mengukir kenangan manis yang baru
dari mengingati saat manis yang pernah dilakonkan.

adilkah kita pada hati
adilkah kita pada perasaan
usahlah lagi kita lakarkan airmata
tak perlulah lagi kita coretkan kisah duka dulu
hanya kerana rasa sedih itu..

pain, here and there!

salam!

hi people. wah!wah! meriahnya blog cekya. pandai betul ye. semuanya drop by time cekya takde. hik!hik!

i was sick, a day before the fed. territory hols. sakit perut yang amats. masa tu, cekya kat office. so i went back home, and terus dapatkan injection untuk bagi hilang sakit. mata dah berair coz i can't stand the pain any longer.

balik tu, still sakit and the pain continued semalam, thru out the day. tak tahu la nak kata cemana. kemain tak selesa. nak tidur pun payah. seharian kat rumah, no one @ home, rasa restless sangat. boring toksah nak kata la kan. i just pray that i'll be alrite again and i did not miss my medication. entahlah. rasa nak baik cepat-cepat coz the pain has really bothered me. and this morning, terlupa nak bawak ubat ke office. alhamdulillah, takat ni, tak ada la sakit sangat. but i feel very uncomfy!*sigh*

anyways, PD was alrite. ira & ika were a little afraid of the waves. maybe sebab tsunami. they watched the tv and i guess diorang terasa yang the waves would get to them as well...ada sekali tu, ika sampai menangis. teriak kemain. nganga sambil menangis dengan suara yang nyaring amats!

and for the first time since i had a camera, cekya amik gambo tak sampai 10 keping. i don't feel like it. all i took was the sunsets...and everything associated with the sun. nanti cekya upload. pelik juga kali ni. maybe dulu dah pernah amik gambar kat kawasan tu so i guess there's nothing new.

gotta go. perut rasa tak besh....uwaaaa...
wassalam.