salam....
ermm...cekya jarang mem-blog masa weekend. tapi rasanya banyak yang nak diceritakan sampai tak boleh tunggu hari isnin.
ingat lagi posting cekya nak jumpa teman lama. cekya keliru sekarang ni. being in a very difficult position! jumaat petang tu, kami bertemu di klcc. we had a very good conversation - tentang advertising, tentang government, tentang syarikat-syarikat besar yang reluctant untuk invest pada marketing products. hahaha...pelik ek?
then we moved on, talked about family. pendek kata, we discussed about EVERYTHING but not us. 'US' yang cekya maksudkan adalah relationship kami yang dah putus berbulan lamanya. tentang kata-kata saktinya yang membuatkan cekya berundur. dan cekya muncul kat klcc petang tu, just because cekya kesian pada dia. tubuhnya makin kurus, kesan dari cancer yang tengah baeeekkk dok menjalar dalam badan dia. sebak rasanya, Allah saja yang tahu!
tersepit antara kesian dan maruah diri. cekya kesian dengan keadaan penyakit dia dan cekya buang jauh-jauh maruah diri yang dah tercalar. adil ke benda ni pada cekya? cekya dah dibuang jauh, dan kini, dia datang semula. i don't mind being friends. and that's about it. tadi, we went out to survey a few stuff that i need to buy. siap bawak bunga. hish. makin pelik dah keadaan ni.
dulu, dia kata malu berkawan dengan cekya, segan nak bawak jumpa mak ayah.
sekarang, beria nak cekya pi rumah dia and have lunch with his family.
apa semua ni? cekya banyak berdiam sejak berjumpa dengan dia. berfikir. tertanya, dan kadangkala menitis airmata bila teringatkan those harsh words yang datang dari mulut dia. pedihnya, Allah saja yang tahu, cekya masih ingat lagi, berhari-hari cekya mengadu nasib in this blog.
dan hari ni, yang membuatkan cekya tambah sedih, was a false hope. i've been hoping for something that is promised to me. tapi hari ni. harapan semuanya berkecai. apa yang cekya angankan dan mimpikan, tak jadi kenyataan. i was a bit crushed. if there's nothing in for me, then say so. tak perlulah cekya mengharap. ini, dah sampai masa....nothing...:(
owh, it's such a not-so-good time for me. rasa lemas sangat. anyways, cekya terima ni semua as a part and partial of my life. redha dan sabar...:(
wassalam...
5 comments:
Huhuhu...cekya...KT pon sedih jugak. Sedih baca cerita cekya. Sedih fikir diri KT sendiri.Kadang2 rasa nak lari jauh sampai tiada mata dapat memandang diri ini dan lari lagi jauh sampai tiada hati yg dapat mengingati KT. Tapi apakan daya...huwaa....
KT...thx...cekya mmg tgh sedey nih...asyik dok fikir, kenapa, kenapa, kenapa?
sometimes things happened when we least expected..
-walkthrulife-
sue...yeah..thats was irritating when kita tersepit antara maruah diri n perasaan kesian...
be strong gal...muashhh
-liana-
things happen for a reason. when you are tested with something that involves life, you will try to make amend of all the bad things that u used to do to people, especially those who are close to u. and from what i can see, that's what he's trying to do with u.
guess the illness has made him realize abt everything he did to u and now, he's trying to 'reduce the gap' between the two of you by making an effort to stay friends. yeah, the pain is there and will take time to heal but at this point, all he needs is your support and he knows ur the one he can rely on for you used to be his 'best friend'. let the compassionateness make you forget about the 'hatred' even for a moment...
pardon me if my opinion is seen as 'biased' as i only concluded everything based on what's being posted.
have a nice day cekya
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