#taman kejam#

salam...

semalam, sakan cekya carik kotak digital camera. nak study balik manual dia tapi kotaknya entah ke mana...!cekya rasa ada, tapi i just could not figure out kat mana cekya letak. i've might have misplaced it masa renovation work kat rumah kelmarin. tanya jugak kat ayah sebab ayah cekya rajin mengemas. dia tak ada nampak. mama pun tak nampak kotak tu. tak apalah...these things, kalau carik, memang tak jumpa. tapi kalau tak carik, tuuuu diaaaa!!hehehe...

anyways, masa tengah selongkar kotak-kotak cekya, i saw my savage garden cassette, bought masa cekya kat college. gila betul dengan lagu truly madly deeply! and i love each and every song in the album, but TMD's a favourite!

I'll be your dream

I'll be your wish, I'll be your fantasy

I'll be your hope, I'll be your love

Be everything that you need

I'll love you more with every breath

Truly Madly Deeply Do

I will be strong, I will be faithful

Coz I'm counting on

A new beginning

A reason for living

A deeper meaning..yeah..

I want to stand with you on a mountain

I want to bathe with you in the sea

I wanna lay like this forever

Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining

Brightly in the velvet sky

I'll make a wish send it to heaven

Then make you want to cry

The tears of joy for all the

Pleasure in the certainty

That we're surrounded

By the comfort and protection of

The highest powers

In lonely hours

The tears devour you

I want to stand with you on a mountain

I want to bathe with you in the sea

I wanna lay like this forever

Until the sky falls down on me

Oh can you see it baby?

You don't have to close your eyes

Coz it's standing right before you

All that you need will surely come

cekya pun amik cassette tu(and i immediately forgot about the digicam's box i was looking for), amik kunci kereta and dengar dalam kereta. i was missing my car and also my past. it all blends-altogether! cekya dok termenung dalam kereta. tak ada apa yang cekya fikirkan. my mind was completely blank masa tu. even masa adik cekya tutup lampu garage(he didn't know i was outside and i didn't start the engine), cekya diam jek. i sat there in the dark.


rasa tenang? entahlah. rasa lapang jugak, despite my coughings and sneezing. tidur masih tak nyenyak, and i was damn sleepy dalam lrt pagi tadi. it's been that way for the past few days. tidur tak nyenyak, not only because of my health, but the heartbreaking stuff that had happen.

i'm not saying that i'm good and perfect, tapi kadangkala, kita kena jugak ketepikan perasaan kita sendiri to NOT hurt others. tapi, kalau setiap kali, cekya yang mengenepikan perasaan sendiri...what is there in the friendship?and kita boleh cakap yang others sukar or tak boleh langsung untuk memahami kita.

it's the chances you give people to understand you more.
it's the effort that really matters.

cekya tak salahkan awak. awak ada rights to act and feel, mengikut apa yang telah sebati dengan diri sendiri. tapi, tak ada salahnya kalau kita bagi peluang pada orang lain untuk memahami diri kita dan menerima nasihat orang lain.

maaf kerana telah mengandaikan sikap awak, tapi, cekya rasa, ada cara lebih baik untuk menepis or deny andaian cekya dengan cara yang lebih manis. i know, the period of time yang kita kenal amatlah pendek untuk cekya mengenali awak luar dan dalam, but there's no need to insult my intelligence.

don't say "i can't help it, it's me". andainya memang begitu cara awak, change for better. pernah awak katakan dulu, berubah kerana kita sendiri mahu berubah, bukan sebab orang lain. then, change for a better you. bukankah berubah kepada yang lebih baik itu hijrah namanya?

cekyakah yang bersalah? kalau cekya yang bersalah, dengan secara terbuka, cekya pohon ampun dan maaf. namun cekya tetap kecewa dan jauh hati dengan sikap awak.

*sigh*

sedih, sedih, sedih. so i had to forget about things for the time being. lepas office, cekya nak temankan miza@driver teksi merah bumbung tinggi(my colleagues@akak paling rapat kat opis) pi giant, beli bahan-bahan untuk dia buat sandwich. kata dia, esok ada pot luck @ her toastmasters club. then, we all akan pi rumah soraya(another colleague) to do facial!hahaha...

ini la pertama kali cekya nak buat facial. tak pernah-pernah. miza and soraya memang 'hantu' beauty and fashion. things yang tak kena dengan minat cekya tapi dah diorang ajak, meramaikan majlis, so i agreed. orang yang buat facial tu will some to soraya's house to 'do' our pretty faces. we'll just see the difference la nanti yek?

so i guess, itu saja cerita untuk hari ni. till later guys!
wassalam...