salam!
it's a relaxing day. bosses pun tak ada. i've been 'stealing' office's time to complete a wedding job. pictures has been burnt to dvd, slideshow pun dah settle. semua dah ready to be delivered.
wtl's made a post that makes me think. or rather sad, actually.
i've been meeting alot of men lately. the wrong men. cekya rasa rimas dan lemas. i mean, these types je ke yang tinggal kat malaysia? unstable jobs. irresponsible. not wanting to settle down. not wanting to have a long relationship[oh yeah, they prefer a one night stand]. only one thing in their minds, s.*.x. kalau umur early twenties tu, gua boley accept la but ni dah 30+. takkan tak boleh fikir? ntah ah. thinking about it makes me furious, but talking about it makes me even madder. i've been doing and sacrifying alot. and i get nothing in return. not that i hoped for any but i guess, things should be working in 2 directions.
in the other hand, i kept thinking, am i the one with problems. yelah, orang kata, keep pointing your forefinger and the others shall be pointing at you. i guess i have to sit and list down what is actually wrong with me. maybe, banyak salah cekya yang cekya tak nampak. maybe, ada benda yang i have to look into. or improve, as a matter of fact. well accepting one's own flaws IS difficult. tapi kena buat jugak nampaknya.
alhamdulillah, i'm busy with work and wedding jobs, therefore forbids me to feel at least a teeny weeny bit of loneliness. but still. it's just within me. surrounding me. and i'm afraid it shall eats me alive. *sigh*
Ya Allah, please let these bad feelings away from me.
sincerely, as always,
cekya
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