lengthy ramble...

salam....

it's 6:23pm now. i'm suppose to head home already, tapi i'm still here. ada family dinner tonite tapi cekya tak ada mood la nak meet people. my uncles, aunts, cousins & nieces. and my mom have been remiding me about the dinner. i just don't feel comfy around socialites. tak faham kenapa nak kecoh-kecoh to go to the dinner. i guess lately, i'm just so fed-up with these 2-faced people. when they laugh, does not mean that they enjoy it. they smile, but they hate it. then buat baik to get what they want. hidup mewah atas kesusahan orang lain. berpura jadik someone they're not. eeeiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!idiots. takyah la nak berpura-pura. be as you are. live life as per what you can afford. bila berpura-pura, diri sendiri yang susah. creeping to other people's pockets to patch their financial issues. what's that??? nak impress orang with people dengan benda yang you tak ada, that you don't really own.

and the funny yet ironic about it is, they get away with it. yeah! lepas! no hal! takde masalah. boleh settle at any time or cost. geramnya cekya! kenapa la manusia-manusia ni, bola buat silap, they don't bother. they did not worry of things happening or going to happen to them. pelik ya!

anyways, last nite, i wrote a lengthy entry and decided to close the window without posting it. rasa macam type mengarut je. i feel like i have something, bottled up in myself, waiting to burst. tapi apa yea? someone commented on my being semalam. this old man, said that have a big mouth. huh? what's that?

orang tanya, cekya jawab. whatever he said, i answered. apa yang salahnya. i guess he got annoyed coz i manage to answer his arguments kot. so what? women should not have brains ke? we should just be quiet and angguk-angguk, geleng-geleng whenever men say or ask anything. no offense gentlemen, tak semua macam tu kot. and when i say all that, dia cakap cekya kuat menjawab. and he said, no wonder, i failed in my previous relationships. duh! and that's when most snapshots of my life before this came in my mind. i cried. sampai hati yea, dia cakap macam tu. he did not even know me. takperlah, i rest my case, since he did not know me, almost at all! he can't be blame. not 100%. geram lagi cekya, buat sekian kalinya. adui!

what is it that you men want????
i'm just a human being for goodnes sakes. i'm not an animal...
i have flaws. i have a heart. i can cry. i can feel sadness. please, be patient with me. accept me as i have accepted your flaws.
i felt like i've had enough. damn!

ahve a good weekend, ladies & gentlemen.

p/s : to my sisters, sorry for the language. to my brothers, sorry if i have offended you.