Blogger on Android!

Test post. ☺

Hari ke Empat Ratus Tujuh Puluh Enam.

Rupanya, dah banyak hari Mama takde.

I have not slept with you for years and that night, Mama nak saya tidur sebelah.
You hold my hand so tight.

Mama yang sihat. Yang takde penyakit yang serious. Tiba-tiba hilang. 
Kat bilik takde. Kat depan tv takde. Dapur pun takde.

Kalaulah saya tahu Mama nak pergi jauh esoknya.

Kalaulah.

Rupanya, dah 476 hari Mama tinggalkan saya, ayah dan adik-adik.

Kami tidak pernah bersedia untuk sebarang kemungkinan yang serius pada hari itu.

 

Welcome to Celcom MMS

An MMS has been sent to you containing the following attachement(s)

tanpa cintamu.

salam!

it's been 2 postings form my blackberry. ok la. cuma no formatting were allowed. just plain text.

a bit busy 2-3 hari ni. finishing a photography job, preparing quotations, photoshoot for YEMIRA's stuff. and i got bad headache, still do, coz the panadols didn't work this time. tatau la apsal.

but i love it. being busy. keeps me off bad thoughts. alhamdulillah. here are some photos. enjoy!

Kadok, Ceri, Rissa & Adam on their Outdoor Photoshoot. :)

One of YEMIRA's KimonoCardigan. Cute eh?

till next posting!

love, cekya.

p/s :  i'm still thinking of plots for my online story. ilham, datanglah!

tok.

was cleaning the room when i found this picture.
how i miss her. so much. :(
she left me a day after my 22nd birthday.
al-fatihah.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Celcom Mobile.

saturday & weddings!

Assalam!

It's gonna be a day full of weddings!
And I'm on the way to Tangkak to start the wedding 'marathon'!
And later in Felda's Merak Kayangan.

Have a great weekend sayangs!

Love, Cekya
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Celcom Mobile.

Test with Mobile!

Update test from Blackberry!

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Celcom Mobile.

sempurnakan aku.

"semua begitu salah, tanpa dirimu"

at 34, i'm still struggling. i'm still searching. :(


on a lighter note;

my dad with a chinese uncle at the ortho clinic, ppum. comel jek jumpa geng sambil borak2 and gelak. his name is ngiau(comel kottt!). 
my dad would probably say "i'm roarrrr!" but that didn't happen.
it was "i'm abdullah." instead.
hahahaha!

have a good weekend!

love, cekya.

hate. benci.

Assalam.

Hatred is just dangerous.

It makes you search for more reasons to hate.

I hate someone.
And I know it's bad. Berdosa.

But I can't help it. Things this person do, or say, they just 'asking' for hatred. Even things coming out of this person's mouth, most of the time, are full of hatred. Silap sikit, maki. Aih. I'm glad, I'm not a foul-mouthed person. Paling-paling pun, "Eeeiii bodoh!" Hahahaha.

Ok. That's like a few 'hatred' clogged in a paragraph.

Cekya tahu, this person has a kind heart. Orang cakap, mulut je kesat, tapi hati baik. But it bothers me so much that this person sometimes, has influenced my mind, and the decisions that I wanna make. Which I hate. Huh! Semuanya buruk. Orang lain semua ada niat tak baik. Apa yang orang buat semua bermaksud jahat. Apakah?

Tak semua yang kita nampak zahirnya tu buruk, dalamnya pun buruk. Kan?
Tak semua orang yang menolong kita punya niat tak baik. There's a word for it - ikhlas.

Aura negatif macam ni, membuatkan Cekya sentiasa rasa tak selesa. Rasa marah. Rasa bengang kalau lepak dengan dia. 

I won't say it to his/her face. Coz it'll hurt him/her bad. Even dia pernah ckp kat Cekya,"Gi mampos!" How I wish mati itu tidak melibatkan dosa pahala. Tidak melibatkan perasaan orang-orang yang sayangkan kita although ianya adalah hak Allah SWT. Mungkin dia akan happy kalau Cekya mampos(I feel so low typing this word).

Mungkin Cekya terlalu terasa hati bila dia mahu Cekya 'gi mampos'. Mungkin dia bergurau? Bergurau tentang hidup mati?

Astaghfirullah. This is a reminder. How mad I am. I shall always istighfar.

Untuk menangani dia, menjauhkan diri adalah yang terbaik, mungkin.

Distance(or time) might make my heart missed him/her. Maybe.

I just have to learn to let go. Letting go the hatred.

Ya Allah, Kau permudahkanlah. Amin.

Love, Cekya.

A not so new journey?

Assalam.

I'm excited to write and continue on my long overdue online novel - http://unspokentales.blogspot.com/ .

Need your support!

Bismillah.

Love, Cekya.

P/S : On a lighter note, met YB Khairy last Sunday, at the Festival Belia 2013 masa bukak bazaar. Hahaha. One of those unforgettable moments kot. Weehooo!!!

 
 

lucky her.

assalam.

hmmm. dah berkurun tak update. 
mungkin perlu tulis sesuatu. or else whatever is clustered in my mind, akan menjadkan aku gila. haha.

tadi, baca satu blog. about a lady, who has asthma and ended up damaging her brain on one of the asthmatic incidents. she weighed 78kg and now, she's only 30kg!

her husband la yang jaga everything as she can't move, talk. memang tak function as a human. and her husband is still head over heels in love with her.

beruntungnya kamu sis.
ok dah takleh tulis. sebab nak nangis. :((

nak baca? http://abil4fauziah.blogspot.com.

till later.

Girls' Day Out!

Salam!

Yesterday, had a mini reunion with my high school girlfriends. Karaoke, food and chat.

Ewa was a dear friend. We were so close back then. And I always usik her on her passion for business. Reason, meniaga satu2 barang tu, sekejappp je. Hahaha. She tried selling gamat creams, kain ela, infact, coaxed me into taking up her facial service. Hahaha.

And, I took her wedding photos with my small camera. about 9-10 years ago. And the photographer who shot her wedding photos that day said to me, and I remembered it vividly, 
" Dik, practice la amik gambar, mana tahu, esok2 boleh jadi photographer & amik gambar wedding"

There you go. And the rest is history. ;)

Ewa is now based in Melaka, working with the Ministry of Tourism. I'm glad that we met yesterday and we're planning on more meet-ups!

Thanks for the time babe! It's been 19 years, our friendship! Love you loads!

Love, Cekya.

Ewa & I, karaoke-ing. :D

*Speechless*

Salam!

I know a guy few years back. He was having a serious marital problems. It was too ugly to tell but he always always find me to tell stories. Not on the problems but how he feels about it. Besides that, we always talk about stuff and I find it easy with him. And we became close friends.

His wife knew about it. And thought I was his girlfriend. *Gulp* She admits that she's having an affair with another guy and felt that her husband is being friends with me, just to be fair. Ko ada affair, aku pun ada affair. Well to me, I'm just a friend he talks too. 

At one point, he and I started to fade. I was just assuming that maybe, he has patched things up with his wife. Alhamdulillah, I thought.

And one day, the wife contacted me through YM. (Which I think she curik-curik copy from her husband's YM). She told that they've gone separate ways, she's back at her hometown with their 2 kids. And she said sorry and all, for shouting and being angry at me, at that time. 

Since then, I kept in contact with her, and her kids. It was nice to see her moved on, even remarry. I guess Allah has planned all, perfectly for us all. And yesterday, I received a news about him from her. He has passed. Due to heart problems. I was speechless. Till now, I can't even say how I feel. Tears filled my eyes. 

We shared sadness.

We shared laughter.

We shared our life stories. And he's now gone. 

I hoped he had forgiven me, if any. As I only remembered we only shared great friendship. 

Hazmi Hamzah, may Allah bless your soul. Semoga ditempatkan dikalangan orang-orang yang beriman. Love you bro!

Me, The Youngest Sister You Never Had.

Another Buttery Entry!

Salam!

This Nigella's recipe was meant for cuppies. Tapi today malas nak put cup by cup, I decided to bake it in a cake tin. 

We ate it right off the oven. Ahhh! Delicious!

Here's the recipe;

Nigella's Butter Cake.

125gm butter

125gm sugar

125gm flour + 1/2tsp baking powder + 1/2tsp bicarbonate soda

2 eggs

1tsp vanilla essence

2tbsp milk

Sprinkles

1. Cream butter + sugar. Once fluffy, add eggs, one at a time.

2. Add vanilla essence.

3. Add half flour + 1tbsp milk.

4. Add remaining of flour + milk.

5. Spray your baking tin with canola oil or butter, and put parchment paper at the bottom of tin.

6. Fill in the tin, level it and add sprinkles on top of batter.

7. Bake in 160'C for 30 minutes.

8. Eat it hot!! :D

Love, Cekya

Danish Cookies!

Salam!

This is to kill boredom!

Danish Cookies.

75gm butter
50gm sugar
1/4 tsp salt
1 egg yolk + 1/2 tsp vanilla essence (whisk together)
150gm flour (remove 1 tbsp)
A pinch of baking powder
1 tbsp skim milk powder (I used fresh milk, about 2 tbsp)

How-To.
1. Cream butter+sugar+salt till fluffy.
2. Add yolk, beat well.
3. Sieve in flour+baking powder. Then add milk powder(or fresh milk). Use your hands and it'll form a dough.
4. Put dough in plastic wrap, chill in fridge until it's a little harder. Roll it and use cookie cutters, any shapes that you'd prefer.
5. Bake on lined tray at 180'C for 10 minutes. 

The taste? Fantasticolicious!!! :D

On a sadder note, K. Yati's grandfather passed away on midnight. My deepest condolences to her and her family. I've heard so many great things about the old guy and I believe, he's the best grand-dad for his grand-kids. Al-Fatihah!

Love, Cekya.

It's been 18 years!

Assalamm!

I had a great time surprising a close friend last Sunday. The initial plan was just to do a karaoke session but since it was her birthday earlier that week, we decided to get it done! We asked everybody to come including her boyfriend, Alan. But before she invited him, I have earlier ask Alan to make excuses not to come and Alan will surprise her with birthday cuppies made by my mom. :D

 

We totally nailed with, but with silly glitches. Hahahaha!

Made her a scrapbook and she loved it! Yeay!!!

 

 

To Julie, Happy Birthday, and may our friendship lasts, insya-Allah! I'm so glad you've found someone. Selamat la aku dari kena buli dgn ko kan. Ke aku yg buli? Hahahaha!

Love, Cekya.

When it hits, nearly rock bottom...

Despite the wishful thinking of wanting all of the below, I'm in a situation whereby I felt small, especially when surrounded by friends.


It felt like I have nothing. *sigh* 


And I'm also in the situation where I wanna be idle. Do nothing. Think nothing. Hear nothing.


I'm still searching, or shall I say, waiting for that 'push'. I'm ashamed to ask but Allah, let me find that little strength! 


Love, Cekya.

2012. Here we go!

Assalam...

Hey peeps!

Ok lets do blogging again. :D 

Layout changed. Thanks K.Yati @ walkthrulife.blogspot.com. You reminded me how wonderful it was back then...

For a start, here's the stuff I put up on my wish board! Hehehe!

 

Ada banyak lagi but will add more later. What's yours? Jom wish!

Love, Cekya.

Mak Long.

Cekya punya zaman kanak-kanak & remaja yang biasa-biasa saja. Punya parents yang berkerja, cuti sekolah selalunya hanya di rumah. Adik Cekya semuanya lelaki. Boring. :D No girlish stuff please! Ya, kadangkala bercuti ke mana-mana tapi, yang paling Cekya suka, rumah Pak Long di Johor Bahru.

Rumah biasa-biasa yang penghuninya sangat amazing, Cekya kira. Kalau diizinkan ayah, dari mula cuti, sampai ke hujung, Cekya akan di rumah Pak Long. Mereka hanya bertiga, termasuk Mak Long & anak bungsu mereka. K.Fizah. Kakak & abang-abangnya tinggal sendiri. Jarak umur yang tidak terlalu*she's a few years older*, buat kami rapat. Cekya diheret ke sana ke mari. Malah pernah ke bandar malam-malam naik bas yang senget.*Cekya hampir percaya penyebabnya Cekya sendiri. hahaha!*

Mak Long. Walau Mak Long berkerja, dia akan memastikan segala yang perlu ada buat kami sebelum keluar rumah awal-awal pagi. Seperti ibu-ibu lain. Breakfast, lunch! Sungguh, Cekya tak ingat sangat apa yang K.Fizah & Cekya buat seharian dan bila sore menjelang, kami menunggu Mak Long di buaian. Dari jauh, terlihat kelibatnya berjalan perlahan dari jalan besar, pulang dari tempat kerja dengan seikat kuih tergenggam kemas di tangan.

Mak Long sedikit garang. Tapi aku tahu, dia sangat memanjakan K.Fizah & Cekya. Ibu yang sangat memahami.

Melihat keadaannya yang terkedang di katil buat Cekya menjerit dalam hati.

Mak Long Cekya yang dulunya berisi & tinggi, kini sangat kecil tubuhnya! * she weighs less than 40kg!*

Mak Long Cekya yang dulunya lasak ke sana ke mari, kini kaku kiri tubuhnya!

Mak Long Cekya yang hanya mampu merenung tanpa ada tenaga untuk berbual-bual lagi!

Luluh hati bila Mak Long dah tak ada upaya lagi. Sukarnya. Risaunya.* I feel helpless!*

Andai dapat Cekya pikul kesakitan yang Mak Long rasa.

Doktor kata hanya ada 6 bulan. Mungkin kurang dari itu. Maka bersedialah untuk apa jua. :(

Mak Long, Cekya hanya mahu yang terbaik untukmu. Bila tengok kekuatan sepupu-sepupu Cekya, Cekya tahu, Cekya harus redha.

Cekya mahu Mak Long terus bersama kami.
Tapi tak sanggup tengok Mak Long lelah begitu.

Pulihkan Mak Long, Ya Tuhan!
Sembuhkanlah dia.
Pulangkanlah senyumnya kembali.

;-(

hidden cousins.

salam...

i have an uncle, who has another family. yes, another son, another daughter. yes, another wife.

the son's tying the knot in december, and my uncle wants my dad being one of the representative for nikah. fine.

this son of his, never saw us. only the daughter. and once, only.

i've been sending messages to the daughter that it'll be great if she can bring her brother, and the fiancee to come and meet up with my dad. my parents thought that it's an appropriate thing to do. so do i.

unfortunately, they've been having plans every first saturday of the month, when we were having our monthly tahlil.

but this month's reply was not much of a difference, and i can't help it but to send a cynical reply.

"oh ok...tapi kalau boleh mintak la ur brother dtg kenal2 dgn my dad. tak silap he'll be the wakil for hadri's nikah...mcm pelik la pulak, pengantin tak kenal wakil sendiri. hehehe... "

and then she replied,

" tula,sepatutnya macam tu kan..=(
nana pon tak paham perangai my brother,takpe,nanti i cucuk abah to paksa him jumpa your dad. =)
dont worry,sampaila ktorg nnt..;p"

what does that mean?! the son's been avoiding seeing my dad? he's been avoiding his own family? the same as the others are doing to my dad?! what's going on?!!! i know, i'm probably being difficult and think about it too much sampai bawak ke mimpi...:( but i just can't help it...

i've promised myself. today's the last the invitation. no more, kiddos.

felt like my dad has only my mom, me, my brothers, and my sister in-law. just the six of us. it's so bloody sad! :(

felt like crying buckets.

nite. :(